


Broken Ego & Broken Heart

by Saeryn_x



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Acceptance, Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Cuddling, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Dom/sub, Drunk Sex, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sex, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, Healing, Idol Zen, Love/Hate, M/M, Multi, Passionate Sex, Praise Kink, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Smut, Snuggling, Support, hostility, m/m - Freeform, muse kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-09-13 22:32:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9145150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saeryn_x/pseuds/Saeryn_x
Summary: Zen realizes he's suppressed some sort of feelings for Jumin. When he acts on them, it's not a happy ending. He slowly recovers with help from another, someone interested in him, but Zen is blinded by rejection, heartbreak, and confusion. Oh and of course, Jumin Han. Eventually though, Jumin may regret and question his own actions towards Zen that day. And that's just what Zen wants, at first...





	1. Suppressed Confessions

"You're late." Jumin says with an exasperated tone. 

"Fashionably." Zen smirks, proud of his comment. 

"You're not trying to impress me, are you?..." Jumin asks in a faked innocent voice while furrowing his brows. 

"Don't even go there, I swear this is exactly why Seven makes up all these rumors about you being... ya know.. gay." He whispers the last part after looking around, making sure no one was listening in on the conversation. 

Zen was meeting up with Jumin at some fancy overrated restaurant to discuss possible business ventures for the upcoming actor. Being eventually worn down by Jumin's incessant requests and offers. 

Zen figures if he gives in this once, it'll quell the trustfundkids interest for a while. Ideally, forever. But that's not likely. Not with his type at least. Jumin's character in general is already domineering with that high and mighty attitude. But his status only worsens this personality. He's going to get what he wants, one way or another. Zen knew that, and it irritated him beyond belief. You give this guy an inch, and he'll take a tiny country. 

"Hmn, I suppose you are right. But it's just the two of us." Jumin says absentmindedly as he returns his gaze back on the menu. 

Zen's expression falls, 'he just doesn't get it.' He thinks to himself, bringing his tied hair to the front of his chest and playing with it softly. 'Or maybe he's just like that, just like how some people are naturally flirty without being intentionally flirtatious...' he's silently pondering these thoughts without noticing he's gazing intensely at the corporate heir. 

Who has already placed the menu away and is participating in this unofficial staring contest. 

After a while, "What is it? Like what you see?" Jumin teases as he waves over the waiter all the while not breaking his curious gaze from Zen's. 

As expected, Zen almost jumped from his seat, caught off guard and outraged at the audacity of the man before him. 

"You have some nerve, you seem very smug today. And I'm the narcissistic one." Zen clicks his tongue after his final statement and turns his attention to the waiter that arrived. 

"What is it that you would like, sir." The waiter hides his timid nature well in front of the corporate heir. 

Jumin seems to be in deep thought, before glancing to Zen and smirking ever so faintly, "A bottle of your finest wine, to start." 

"Very well, sir." The waiter scurries without question. 

Zen isn't so pleased, he lifts off his chair slightly while waving his hand, "Hey! Wai- oh forget it, I doubt this place has beer anyways..." he slumps back in his chair in a defeated manner. Already exhausted with this guys' antics. 

Jumin shortly laughs and scoffs at Zen's demeanor, "Way to be appreciative."

Zen perks up and glares, "But I'm sure they'd have water, but I didn't get the chance to ask since you ordered in my place. I know you're in control most of the time, but It'd be appreciated if you refrained from trying to play puppeteer with me. I don't work for you, yet, you have no strings on me. Excuse me." Zen abruptly rises from his seat to find his way to the bathroom, not before seeing the smirk fall from Jumin's face. 

Zen did wince, but shrugged it off. 'Seven says he's a robot anyways...' 

By the time Zen has collected and cooled himself, Jumin has already taken advantage of his status to surprise Zen. 

Once Zen is in view of their table, he pauses before quickening his pace. Spotting the unmistakeable bottle of his favorite beer. 

"What ah... what is this?..." Zen meekly questions while seating himself. 

"An apology, I suppose. Although we're friends this is a business meeting so excuse my behavior from before and accept the beer." Jumin offered a small smile. 

Zen began to beam until the jerk had to ruin the moment, again, "Although... I don't see what I did to deserve your dramatic exit." He mumbled as if talking to himself but clearly it voiced his displeasure at Zen's previous actions. 

Zen places the bottle he just accepted down rather harshly, gaining the attention of the other diners. 

"And that's just so like you, isn't it? Not aware of how condescending, cocky, and cold you sound. Not even taking a moment to consider how others feel. You're so entitled to things, that you think you can pick and choose how you should treat people on a regular basis but that's not how it works! Sure, Mr. Han," Zen uses his fingers as quotation marks as he says Jumin's name formally. "Being an aloof jerk serves you well in the business world, but god damn does it make you a shitty person to be friends with." Zen rubs his temples before getting up one last time. 

"I can't even get through this lunch, there's no way I can star in your little commercial, good bye, Mr. Han." There's venom in his tone, and boy is it accentuated when he speaks Jumin's name. 

The restaurant was silent as Zen spoke his mind. But as he walks away the room is in clouds of chatter. Eyes following the bold man, and eyes judging the one left behind. 

~

Zen will admit, there is one thing he dislikes about himself. When he's angry, really angry, he ends up crying. He doesn't know why and he doesn't like it. It makes him look weak and so he ends up feeling weak too. 

At least that jerk can be intimidating when upset.. he curses. 

Zen immediately sets to go to his special place, where he can breathe and think. 

Unfortunately and fortunately for him, he's forgotten that the one person who knows where his special place is, is the reason he's going there in the first place. 

~

Riding a motorcycle in itself is dangerous, and riding when you're emotional is even more so. 

But Jumin was still surprised when his vehicle was stopped when he was already so close to the destination. Zen's destination. 

"Mr. Kim? Why have we stopped?" Jumin inquires. 

"...There seems to be an accident Mr Han!" Mr. Kim says in a panic.

Jumin's eyes widen in horror and worry as he hurriedly leaves out the car already guessing whose in the accident, while Mr. Kim is calling for help. 

Jumin rushes to the scene, and luckily, it doesn't look so bad, but Zen's body is still sprawled out across the grass and cement of the road. Unconscious for who knows how long. 

No puddles of blood, no absurdly bent limbs, and a rising and falling chest. He lets out a breath that he wasn't aware he was holding. 

"You fool! Why do you have to be so dramatic! Why keep aiming for roles when you're already the star in your own soap opera for gods sake..." Jumin's voice is a mixture of anger and relief. 

And apparently just the right frequency to lull Zen awake. Who really hasn't been unconscious for long, Jumin pursued Zen almost immediately after his scene at the restaurant. 

".... -ty" is all Zen's lips managed to let be heard.

"Zen! What... what did you say?" Jumin's eyes are sharp, ready to help in any way needed until proper assistance came. 

"S-still high and... mighty..." Zen mustered, despite his struggle, with furrowed brows and watery eyes. 

He wasn't sure if it was left over from his emotional outburst or if it had to due with the pain surging through his aching body. 

"Still snarky and rude." Jumin said flatly as he lifted Zen, hoping to place him in his more comfortable vehicle until the ambulance arrived. 

Zen managed a smile at this, and Jumin looked down with the softest gaze Zen has ever seen on the man's face. To be honest it made Zen unsettled, and yet, he couldn't help the small blush that crept onto his cheeks. 

Until he realized he was also in the said man's arms, "... HEY! D-don't you know you're not supposed to move bodies that just underwent trauma! You could seriously screw me over even more dude!" Zen was wriggling, suddenly all pain absent as his mind was focused on escaping Jumin's strong grip. 

"Nice choice of words." Jumin smirked down at Zen, playfulness written all over his features. 

Zen was confused. What just happened. He went through what he said until it hit him, '...you could seriously screw me over...' 

And that did it. Intense blush erupted on the actors face. "J-jerk! You know that's not what i meant! Pervert! Let me go!" Zen was embarrassed and wanted out of this man's hold. 

"Very well." He squatted down slightly and ducked his head to place Zen inside the car softly. Hands lingering too long after Zen was settled in the car. 

Zen had no clue what was wrong with him, he probably hit his head too hard or something. But he had some strange bubbly feeling building up in him concerning the very man that may as well have saved him. 

"Move over, please." A deep voice sounded. 

Zen propped himself up on his elbows as he was laying down in the entire back seat, and moved his legs so he could get into a sitting position. 

Until that is, Jumin sat himself and took hold of Zen's retreating legs and placed them back down on his lap so the injured man could lay down. "Please, lay down and rest. Your body is still in shock most likely. I only wanted to keep an eye on you." 

Oh, yeah, rest. Sure, because any person could do so when corporate heir Jumin Han is holding their legs down over his lap. 

Zen was flustered. And he couldn't exactly pinpoint which was more of the cause. Because Jumin had been touching him a lot in these few minutes, or because he was getting terribly fazed by his touch in the first place! 

"You're all flushed..." Jumin leaned in a bit and squinted his eyes to focus on Zen's face. 

'No shit Sherlock... who wouldn't be when you're all up on them!' Zen thought loudly to himself. 

Jumin sighed, "Mr. Kim, when will the ambulance be arriving?" 

"Well, Mr. Han, we're in the middle of more rural grounds, they won't reach us for quite a while I suppose." The driver said worriedly. 

Jumin closed his eyes and furrowed his brows. "Fine, we'll just go to them."

"Huh?" Both the driver and Zen say in unison, not on the same level with Jumin. 

"Zen is by no means in critical condition but he still needs immediate care. We'd be wasting time if we waited when we're perfectly capable of meeting them half way at least. It's more efficient and beneficial.. for Zen." He says more quietly and slowly while glancing down to check on the actor, who is stunned by Jumin's demeanor and actions currently. 

It's like something sparked in him and he's being very, well, assertive but considerate of Zen. Which is a huge shift in character from what Zen is used to. And... he kind of likes it. 

Who knew that him being injured would bring out the best in the trustfundkid. 

'Is this weird to think?' Zen asks himself, 'that Jumin is really acting like Husband material right now...' Zen shivers at his own thoughts that betray him. 

And of course, the ever so diligent Jumin notices, to Zen's dismay. 

"Hmn? Are you cold? You're shivering." Jumin furrows his brows in concern and takes his coat off, draping it softly around Zen's laying frame. 

Zen hides his blush by pulling up the coat over half his face, he didn't shiver because he was cold, but he was getting a bit chilled. 

Jumin smiles at Zen's acceptance of his gesture. 

"So, since you're the star of the hour, is it ok if we drive to meet them?" Jumin gently shakes Zen's arm over the coat he just threw over him. 

He can see the actor nod up and down. "Wise choice." He murmurs. 

"Mr. Kim-" He stopped himself as he felt the vehicle start up, The driver nods to him through the mirror, acknowledging Jumin and his decision. 

Jumin closes the door and scoots more into the back seat, him having been only partially in before. Doing so, he pulls Zen in closer as he tries to get in the vehicle. 

Zen actually squeaks, and he mentally curses at himself at how unbecoming it is of him. And how odd he's reacting to Jumin's touch too. 

Jumin is on alert and bends over Zen's body, pulling down the coat hiding Zen's face to inspect his face for any cues of pain. 

"Are you alright? Where does it hurt?" He asks, in a stern but frantic voice. 

"I'm fine..." Zen shrinks under Jumin's intense gaze. Trying to pick the coat back up over his face slowly, knowing Jumin is still holding it. And Jumin doesn't relent. 

"Hey, you just crashed your motorcycle and were sprawled out across the ground just now, you may want to act tough and "manly" right now, but don't downplay your injury, this is a serious matter Zen." Jumin's tone is deeper and sharper.

Zen pauses at his tone, but rolls his eyes, and keeps trying to bring the coat back over his face. 

"I'm not in the mood for your resistance at the moment, Zen. I know you'd of much preferred V to aid you, again. But that's not the case. I don't know how he handled you then, but this is how I do it, and if you want my help you'll cooperate. You've crashed far too many times, Zen. This isn't a matter to be taken lightly." Jumin keeps the same tone but with less edge, trying his best to sound concerned rather than controlling and angered. 

Which he is, at Zen's stupid recklessness. And the fact that the incompetent actor scared him so god damn much. But he's suppressing the urge to scold and evaluate Zen, his wellbeing is more important. 

Zen considers Jumin's words, and gives up. Letting his flushed face be exposed for the corporate heir. 

Jumin smiles warmly at Zen's cooperation but frowns upon seeing Zen's cheeks. 

"So you're running a fever?" Jumin asks as he leans in more and presses his forehead against Zen's. 

"It was pretty frosty out by the time you left, and since you were "fashionably late" you didn't dress practically." Jumin's lips moved but Zen payed no mind to what they were actually saying, only that he would practically taste the words rather, if Jumin got even an inch closer. 

What is he thinking?! Why is he thinking like this? 

"Don't you know how to check for a fever like a normal person!" Zen sputters out, not being able to handle the proximity any longer.

Jumin only looks confused though, "Ugh, never mind! But I feel fine right now, seriously. Only my back is in some pain." Zen slowly pushes Jumin away, reassuring him that he's relatively okay. 

'Luckily I'm not focusing on the pain since I'm too busy trying to deal with you...' Zen remarks in his head. 

"Hmn... if you end up having far worse injuries than you're leading me to believe there'll be consequences beyond the injuries you received." Jumin speaks in a dark tone as he retreats back to his sitting position. 

Zen can never tell when this guy is joking or not but his words oddly excite him and he feels sick for it. 

Zen attempts to close his eyes and sleep, the scent of the man's coat calming and addictive. 

"None of that." Jumin simply says while nudging Zen. 

"I'm. Exhausted!" He snuggles deeply into the seat and coat. 

"I understand, but there could be a possibility that you won't wake up. And that's for the doctors to determine so until then, I'm sorry but you're just going to have to bear through the drive with me." Jumin says, staring out his window. 

Zen feels a small pang of guilt. He is only trying to help him, genuinely. And clearly is put down by the thought that Zen wants to sleep through Jumin's company. Which is most likely why he's avoiding Zen's gaze. 

"Look. Hey... you're not that bad. I really am just exhausted." Zen says while attempting to sit upright. 

Jumin is quick to hinder that though. Pushing down Zen quickly but gently with his hand. 

"Is that so? I do recall that you stormed off from our meeting and ended up in this very accident because you were unhappy with me." Jumin smiled, almost painfully while he crossed his arms and looked ahead of the road, scanning for the ambulance. 

Zen was stumped, it was all true but he also gives Jumin a hard time just because it makes him feel better. Not in a malicious self-serving way, but because he feels if he gives Jumin a hard time for once, he'll somehow get a slap of reality and understand that he can't always get what he wants. Or have everything go smoothly for him. So Zen is the one to present a challenge. 

And now, of course, some strange intense feeling is surging through him regarding the man that saved him. And he doesn't want to exactly welcome it, but he definitely can't deny it. So Jumin's company is actually comforting currently. 

"That... is true but, I happen to like you when you're saving me." Zen says in a positive tone with his eyes closed and an award winning smile. 

Jumin widens his eyes at first, but then actually laughs, loud. 

Zen is confused and embarrassed now, covering himself completely in Jumin's coat. But also he's interested in Jumin's laugh. It was a beautiful laugh, of course that could be because of how rare it is but, it sounds right to Zen. 

"Shut up, jerk!" He manages while under the safety of the mans coat. 

"I'm sorry it's just, usually being adorable is Yoosung's thing. It was quite unexpected." Jumin admitted while gazing at body next to him. 

And that was when Zen's heart stopped. Not from being in an accident. But from the compliment of Jumin Han. This was it. He knew now, what this rage and distaste he had for the man was all about now. He was angry at the man because he liked him. He didn't want to like him because everyone did. He had everyone wrapped around his slender finger without even lifting one. And like he concurred before, he likes to present a challenge to the man who has it all. 

'Shit. Shit. Fuck me. No! Damn what a great choice of words... Oh my god.' Zen was battling with himself. 

And Jumin grew worried as there was no response from Zen. 

The guy lived for compliments, so why wasn't he basking in the one he just gave him? 

"Zen?.." 

"Mr. Han!" The driver suddenly called, stopping the car and pulling to the curb. The ambulance was finally here. 

They placed Zen on a gurney and placed him in the ambulance. 

Jumin followed, "Excuse me, are you of any significance to him?" One of the ladies asked, keeping Jumin from riding with Zen. 

"I own the Hospital we're taking him to." Jumin stared at the lady deadpan, not putting up with anything other than making sure Zen was taken care of, by his standards. 

The lady immediately apologized and made room for Jumin. 

Zen looked to Jumin with eyes Jumin has never seen directed at him before. 

"Can I sleep now?.." Zen lazily asked. 

Jumin hesitated before doing so, but he reached and grabbed for Zen's hand and held onto it reassuringly. He's always been awkward with these things but he wants to comfort somehow. 

"Of course." Jumin smiles until Zen's long lashes reach his cheek as his eyes are closed. 

"You're going to be okay. You have to be. Otherwise V will have my head." His expression is full of worry. 

~

Zen was out cold in the hospital, and Jumin could relax because the doctors said it was just a minor concussion, nothing too serious. 

He waited for the other RFA members to come pouring in with worried faces, get well soon cards, and bouquets of flowers and balloons. But by the time they had reached the hospital it was late out, and he would admit it was a rather stressful day, mentally. So he wouldn't stay up to greet the others. Instead he tried to doze off as well. 

And he was just on the verge of being completely asleep before he heard whispering. 

"God damnit... why do I feel like this..." 

And that was enough to wire Jumin awake again, he rushed to Zen's side, "What do you feel, where does it hurt? Do you need me to call the nurse over." The last part was more of a statement than a question, especially because he was about to signal a nearby nurse. But Zen stopped him. 

Grabbing Jumin's hand down and placing it down gently, Jumin eyed Zen curiously. 

"It's.. not physical pain... although It feels that way." Zen mumbled as he let go of Jumin's hand and averted his gaze. 

"...This is not your first time crashing, perhaps you have PTSD concerning all this? If you need that type of help I can easily schedule you with one of the best in-" Zen started tearing up, not too much, but his eyes were glossy and he began to sniffle slightly. 

"No! It's nothing like that. It's a conflict of the heart ok!" Zen snapped and closed his eyes in exasperation. 

"I... I really am sorry. But I don't follow, you know, I'm not perceptive with these things." Jumin furrowed his brow in confusion as he tugged at his collar. 

"I hate you." Is all Zen managed while turning to face the opposite direction of Jumin. 

"That's evident but not justified." Jumin sits down on the hospital bed with Zen, clearly wanting to get down to the bottom of why Zen is currently so emotional and why he has had this grudge against him. 

"You're the man that has it all. And as much as I choose to belittle your status or your personality or looks, I'm not stupid, I can't deny these things... it's frustrating really." You can tell Zen is finally spilling what he's been bottling up, it's amazing he's not exploding like a geyser right now. 

Jumin feels uncomfortable with the sudden emotional collapse from Zen, but he does feel bad and wants to understand, somehow. So he places a hand on Zen's shoulder as he speaks. Jumin can feel Zen freeze beneath his touch and contemplates removing his hand, but decides against it when Zen relaxes and continues. Shoulders shaking with Zen's sobs. 

"And it makes me feel bad that I feel inclined to bash you all the time, because you've never done anything wrong to me, besides annoy me. But more than that..." Zen chokes and buries his head further into the pillow. 

Jumin is really worried now, he knows Zen is emotional, but he also has a lot of pride, he wouldn't have expected Zen to be so open with crying In front of him especially. Perhaps it's the medications he's on currently.

"More than that..." Jumin urges for Zen to finish. 

"M-more than that... I hate you because it's not fair that you have everything! Even my heart! It's not fair, you can have everything and anything else in this world but you can't have my heart! That's the one thing I need to deny Jumin Han but!- ... I can't help it anymore. I'm so stupid.. to be in love with a man who has everything already... why'd you have to take my heart too?" Zen was a mess, his burst of emotion and passion was incredible. Jumin didn't know whether it was because he was an actor or because Zen really just has been locking this away for so long. 

But he also didn't know how to comprehend all this. 

But this wouldn't be conveyed so quickly or so expertly, Jumin is severely inexperienced with such heartfelt confessions. Even the women he deals with on a daily basis aren't so emotional, he knows this because they're just after money. And it was a pain to deal with but it was easy to handle and brush them off like nothing. This, on the other hand, he need to somehow calm and comfort this man, he didn't need to be any more stressed than he already was from the crash, he needed to choose his words carefully as Zen is someone he cares for like all the other RFA members, and he needed to express how he felt as well. 

This needed a lot of emotional strength that Jumin didn't quite have, because he was never in tune with his emotions. He blocked them out to deal with life more efficiently, and now that tactic is biting him in the ass. 

"Zen..." Jumin worded his name softly and carefully as he bent over to hug Zen. 

It wasn't comfortable for him but he was at least aware that he had to put himself aside and Zen first in these situations. Zen stilled as Jumin hugged him, and he cried even harder, all the while hugging Jumin back. 

They stayed like that for a bit, until Zen's breathing calmed, signifying that his sobs have come to a halt. But as Jumin tried to get up, Zen held onto him tightly, not letting him go. 

"Please, I just... don't want you to see my crying face right now... it's unbelievable but like anyone else I don't look the best at the moment..." Zen admitted. 

But Jumin refused to stay in this position any longer. Breaking from Zen's strong grasp, he loomed over Zen and examined his face. 

"What the hell dude! I said not to look!" Zen widened his red and slightly puffy eyes and hid under the covers. 

"How can you not look at art? Besides, you look better than most women I've seen crying so you shouldn't be so self conscious about it." Jumin was trying to compliment Zen and put him at ease but, he didn't realize it would only lead the poor man on more. 

And again, Zen's heart stops only to flutter at Jumin's words. Jumin hadn't exactly worded out how he felt, but he was still touching Zen and complimenting him... 

Zen closed his eyes hard, as if he didn't even want to picture what he had in mind to do right now. But he was going to be bold, get his point across, and hopefully have everything he's ever wanted. Jumin Han. 

He sprang from under the covers quickly and lunged his upper body towards Jumin as he sat next to him. Latching onto the startled corporate heir as he connected their lips together. 

The kiss lasted longer than Jumin would've liked since, he was too shocked to stop it before Zen decided to be even more bold and place his tongue into his mouth. 

Jumin blinked and pushed Zen away rather harshly, not intentional but he was still on edge. 

Jumin then slowly placed his fingers on his lips, as in disbelief of what just happened. While Zen watches with wide eyes of his own, still dazed from the kiss but also slightly scared at the man's reaction to the kiss. 

Jumin calmly got up from his seat on the bed, gathered his coat from the chair and began to put it on. 

Zen had a feeling he knew where this was going and it made his stomach twist and his chest hurt, his eyes began to water once more. 

Jumin headed towards the door with long strides, "Wait! Jumin!" Zen pleaded with a desperate look on his face. 

"I just confessed all these feelings to you and you're going to leave?! Without a word?!" Zen's voice faltered once or twice. 

Jumin paused as he reached the door, hand on the knob as he contemplated what to do next. 

His first real kiss was with a man. He felt robbed, betrayed, and angry. 

For once Jumin let his own locked up emotions get the best of him. He let a scowl seep into his handsome features as he turned to meet gazes with Zen, who was quietly sobbing, tears falling down gracefully from his paled and blushed cheeks. 

"You see, the thing with a man who has it all, is that he won't want anything else. Not even another's heart. Especially not yours." Jumin spoke slowly, making sure each word had its own brew of venom. Letting the look of disgust fill his features as he gazed, judging Zen thoroughly. 

Watching Zen slowly collapse from the look on his face, Jumin showed himself out just like that. Not wanting to deal with the blow he just inflicted to Zen, not wanting to deal with Zen any longer. 

Zen's face looked absolutely crestfallen, his body was shaking from the shock and harsh tone of the man he just realized he loved. His words replaying torturously in his mind and he became unraveled. Heaving, finding it hard to breathe he grabbed at his chest, his heart, because the pain did feel physical now. Jumin said he didn't want Zen's heart, but then why did Zen feel like it was ripped out and taken away by Jumin just now? 

Of course the first RFA member to arrive was none other than V, the man that had saved Zen in his first fatal motorcycle accident. 

He was very protective of everyone in the RFA, but especially Zen, and his protective instincts always flared when trouble with Zen involved his motorcycle. So it's only natural that he rushed to Zen's side, completely leaving his work behind without care. 

He had heard from Jumin that the injuries sustained weren't substantial, so he was surprised to see Zen so undone and practically gasping for air as tears streamed down his face onto his silver locks of hair that were in disarray. 

V immediately went to Zen, worry and panic evident on his features as he approached. 

"Zen! What's wrong?! Are you in pain? What happened?" He asked frantically, wanting so badly to coop the actor up in his arms and comfort him, but not wanting to hurt him if he was already in pain. 

"J-jumin... I l-love him but he... he.." Zen was having trouble speaking through his tears and trembling body. 

V's expression went from confused, to realization hitting him, shock, and finally to sympathy. Finally noticing that Jumin was no where to be seen and didn't answer V's call when he reached the hospital. 

V said nothing, but instead sat behind Zen, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind and letting him fall onto his chest. 

Zen accepted the physical comfort and turned his body slightly so he could bury his face into V's chest and tug onto his shirt as he continued crying, letting himself go. 

The two fell asleep like that, as the other RFA members arrived almost at the same time. 

They all looked puzzled and suspicious of what had happened. Why were V and Zen cuddled up, why was Jumin missing, and why did Zen look like mess. 

These were questions Jaehee, Seven, and Yoosung had as they scanned the room and watched V's and Zen's chest rise and fall in unison. Breathing in sync. 

Of course Seven had a devious smirk, and Yoosung shifted uncomfortably, knowing Seven was up to something, but Jaehee was quick to disrupt whatever that plan was. 

"Seven... now is not the time for your antics. I don't know what happened here but, we must leave them to rest, let's just leave the bouquets and balloons for now. We'll visit again in the morning.. and hopefully get some answers..." Jaehee asserted. 

Seven feigned a hurt look and dramatically pointed to himself as if to say, 'Me? What antics would I possibly have in this serous setting??' 

Yoosung rolled his eyes and lightly pushed Seven, leading the way out as Seven followed in suit, ready to focus his attention to teasing the cute college student since his efforts before were put to a stop by Jaehee. 

Jaehee followed slowly, stopping to turn around and look at the scene of two beautiful men, V and Zen, embracing each other so casually and perfectly while sleeping one more time, before heading out.


	2. Bared Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen is warmed enough by the other RFA members to finally be honest with himself and his friends. Who are suprisingly serious and supportive of Zen. Jumin makes an unexpected appearance however, with masked cruel intentions. Which doesn't bode well with the other members, especially V.

Zen didn't want to wake up, but he couldn't exactly stay asleep with a pounding headache. He mentally cursed at himself, he was warm and cozy currently, there was a source of heat wrapped around him and he snuggled into it further. Like leaning closer towards a furnace or bonfire to gain that familiar comfort only the heat can provide.

At the moment, he had no recollection of what had happened last night, that sort of blank slate you get when you just wake up, it was a brief escape from reality. 

Zen finally lazily opened his eyes once he felt his untied, freely falling hair being played with softly, it tickled. 

"...Hmn?..." Zen groaned, voice deep and a tad hoarse from his crying and just waking up. 

"Oh. Did I wake you? Sorry it's just that it's been a while since I've seen you with your hair untied, it's so beautiful and soft. And, you seemed to be in deep sleep, I didn't think it would wake you..." V spoke with his usual softness, but it was also different, Zen couldn't pinpoint how though. 

And then Zen realized their position. 

"Huh?! You spent the night with me? You must've been crushed and uncomfortable all night, sorry dude!" Zen apologized while attempting to get up. 

V just laughed and grabbed him, forcing Zen back onto his chest. "You're fine, it was quite nice actually. I meant to comfort you but I found myself feeling calmed instead. I hope it was as therapeutic for you..." V smiled but he was still worried, to bring up anything concerning last night. He's never seen Zen with such lack of composure and so broken... All because of his best friend Jumin Han. 

Zen cast his gaze downwards, finally settling himself into V, "Oh... right." Is all Zen mustered as the night prior replayed completely in his head. 

V's heart ached for Zen, he could hear how heartbroken he was just by the tone In his voice. 

"Do you... want to talk about it?" V pressed lightly, voice soft and gentle. 

Zen only started to quiver slightly, letting V know that he began to tear up again. 

Before Zen could even properly answer, there was a knock at the door. 

Zen panicked, clearly shaken by the thought of someone seeing them like this, more specifically, two males. 

Zen tried desperately to get out of V's grip, it stung a little bit V admitted, but it was also to be expected, he could infer that Zen just came to terms with possibly being gay or bisexual at least, since it was confirmed he confessed to Jumin, and was flat out rejected by the person who he let his heart out to. He's most likely just scared for the same thing to happen again. Who knows what Jumin said to reduce Zen into such a state. 

"V! Let go of me! You don't want them to get the wrong idea!" Zen reasoned hurriedly. 

V was about to release the struggling Zen but offered a solution, "Zen, they already saw us." He carefully squeezed Zen's waist to reassure him. 

Zen stops his struggling and looks up and around to V, brows knitting together from being stunned and confused. 

V only smiled gracefully in return and nodded his head in the direction of the balloons and flower bouquets. 

Zen looked to where V suggested and began to tear up again, the wall that held his emotions in place, having been crumbled since last night, let everything flow out helplessly. 

Zen was nervous and terrified along with grateful and touched. 

"C-come in..." Zen said shyly, he shifted uncomfortably in V's embrace but was put to ease when V reached for his hand and gave it a small squeeze before letting go. 

Zen was really grateful, especially to V. Despite all that happened last night, V hadn't looked at him differently or treated him differently in a negative manner at all. And this surely meant a lot to Zen, after being so brutally rejected and judged for the way his heart worked. 

Seven was first to step in, well, jump in really. With bags of honey Buddha chips. 

"So I hear the food here sucks?!!" He said with a grin, bringing the chips up to his face and wiggling them. Then setting the chips down on a table and putting his hands on his hips as if he saved the day. Classic seven. 

Zen smiled, even giggled at Seven's behavior. Not only was it refreshing but, he didn't change. Of course they had no clue as to what happened last night, but they did witness him and V cuddling. 

Yoosung followed in shortly, although timidly at first, with a few cans of Phd Pepper. But once he set them down and saw Zen, he regained his usual peppy self. 

Walking over to Zen and practically getting in his face, "Zen! Oh my god are you okay?!" He asked so fast it was almost incomprehensible. 

V pushed Yoosung's face away slowly, in a mixture of concern for Zen and his comfort zone and possibly small amounts of jealousy at the close proximity. It was pathetic but he couldn't help It. "You don't need to be so close to ask that, Yoosung." V said smoothly with a faint smile. 

Yoosung narrowed his eyes at V but heeded his word anyways. 

"Yeah, I think I'll be okay. Physically." He whispered the last part. 

"Huh?" Yoosung asked innocently while V looked down on Zen with sad eyes. 

"Nothing," Zen brought his long hair all to one side in front of his chest and began to play with it. "Just, thanks for coming to see me, and for all these gifts... it means a lot to know you all care so much." He said with that perfect smile. 

Yoosung was all smiles and sunshine before an annoyed look took over, "Ah! There it is! How can you look better than me even after getting in a motorcycle accident and crying!?!?" Yoosung asked in an accusatory tone. Clearly peeved at how Zen seemed pristine no matter what. 

But that one mention of him crying, made Zen's lighthearted smirk fade quickly. 

Jaehee finally approached as well, putting a light hand over Yoosung's shoulder, "Yoosung..." he looked over and Jaehee nodded her head from left to right. Letting him know that he just brought up a sensitive topic. 

Yoosung's eyes widened as he realized he blabbed unintentionally, quickly letting his gaze fall to Zen to asses his reaction. 

"So you noticed huh?" Zen smiled painfully. 

"I didn't mean to bring light to it... but yeah... we noticed something was wrong when we came last night too. Sorry..." Yoosung let his head fall, aware of the ambience he just created. 

"I see... and don't apologize, I know you didn't mean to bring it up with bad intent." Zen lightly punched at Yoosung's arm, letting the younger man know he wasn't upset at him. 

"Gosh Yoosung, read the atmosphere won't ya?" Seven mumbled from across the room as he was chewing chips nonchalantly. 

Yoosung's eyes came to life again as he pivoted on his feet to turn to Seven's direction who was munching on chips with a smug smile on his lips. Knowing he was victorious on pushing Yoosung's oh so delicate buttons. 

"It was on accident okay!! And Zen said it was alright!! At least I'm trying to engage with him, not just sitting far away while eating the chips we brought for him!" Yoosung balled his fists up and pursed his lips. 

Seven's mouth was agape, stunned at his little college student's retort and also slightly impressed. 

"Hmn, guess our little Yoosung is growing up after all, look at him, defending himself so well ~" he teased while pointing up and down at Yoosung with a chip. 

"But I guess you're right." He relented and got up off the chair and went to the bed where they were all surrounding Zen. 

"You guys... I fear Zen has only gained more stress with our presence..." Jaehee pinched her nose with annoyance and worry. 

Zen began laughing, faintly at first, but it soon escalated into a burst of laughter. 

They all looked to Zen with confused faces. But then Yoosung began his little giggle, which was contagious. And so Seven began to laugh at Yoosung and the situation at hand. V was pleased with the mood so he laughed as well. Jaehee was the last to join in but she did so wholeheartedly, enjoying the cheerful mood despite the predicament. 

After they all finished with their laughing fit, Zen melted into V completely now, a little tired from their laughing session. He inhaled and exhaled quickly and heavily, still a bit breathless. And V only smiled down lovingly at Zen, who sported a faint blush. 

Both Jaehee and Seven looked at V curiously, sensing a strange connection. Seven smiled wider and Jaehee knitted her brows together, thinking, while Yoosung swept the tears from his eyes. Oblivious to everything. 

"If I may, Zen, what exactly happened last night? Not that there's anything... wrong with it but, it's not usual for you two to be so close in proximity so casually. So something pretty horrible must've occurred for this to happen... please excuse me if I've pried too much." Jaehee sounds unsure of herself and is treading carefully around the topic. 

V looked down on Zen as the rest of the members cast their eyes to Zen, hungry for an answer, a reaction. 

V whispered into Zen's ear, "If you're not ready yet, you can just say so, it's okay." He moved away, "we're all your friends here so we'll understand with ease, alright?" 

The others nodded sympathetically. 

Zen twitched his nose before breathing in deeply and exhaling the same. 

"I'm just... afraid..." he paused and stared into the sheets that covered him and V. Going into a daze with a hurt and scared expression in his features. 

"Afraid of what? We're not here to judge you Zen, we want to help." Seven surprisingly stepped up and sat on the bed, hesitantly grabbing Zen's hand and smiling brightly. 

"He's right! We have to take care of each other!" Yoosung's bright eyes eased Zen a bit. 

"You have to know this Zen, we're here for you." Jaehee offered a gentle smile. 

V looked to the other members proudly and lovingly, it was endearing how much they cared for their perfect actor. 

"Thank you all, so much... you're right." Zen brought his head up and smiled up at them all, with beads of tears building in the outer corner of his eyes. 

"I was just afraid that you'd all react like he did... and I didn't want to lose you all either... you're the closest thing to a family I have." Zen spoke quietly, not strong enough to exert or project his voice in fear of breaking down again. 

The members each wore a forlorn expression, and looked to one another and then back to Zen, who was now squeezing Seven's hand fairly hard. Seven squeezed it back to show his support. 

"Last night I... I realized something huge, something life altering. You all know I was supposed to meet with J-jumin to ah... talk about business opportunities. It didn't go so well, he was being a jerk as usual and-" Zen had to pause his story to weep a little bit. It was becoming harder and harder to suppress his emotions as he spoke, continuing on with the unfortunate story. 

The members all looked very concerned now, their eyes reflecting the same pain Zen's did as he cried. That's how close they all came to be. 

Even Yoosung started to get glossy eyed, he didn't know what happened yet, but seeing someone he cares about cry at this extent, and that person being one of the strongest he knows, it crushed him a little. He couldn't help but feel the same anguish Zen did. 

"Sorry... anyways..." Zen sniffled a bit before continuing, "He was being a jerk so I left the meeting... when there's a lot on my mind or I need to escape, there's this special place I go to clear my head and think. No one knows where it is... except Jumin..." Zen closed his eyes and inhaled and exhaled to calm and prepare himself to continue. 

V clung to Zen's statement about Jumin being the only person to know where Zen's special place is. It made his stomach twist. He supposed they were a lot closer than they made it seem in the chatroom. But that entails a question, why did Jumin reject Zen then? Clearly they must've been cozy enough to the point that Zen only shared his secret place with Jumin... V snarled internally at the thought but listened onwards. 

"Don't... Don't feel bad that the rest of you don't know the place. I didn't exactly invite him or give him the location, of my own free will. He happened to follow me one day... so yeah." Zen explained to reassure his other friends, to make sure they didn't feel less since they didn't know the place. 

'So now Jumin just casually follows Zen when he wants?...' V thought to himself. He was puzzled and annoyed. But relieved that Zen didn't just share this special place with Jumin. 

"Since I was so angry and emotional after dealing with that jerk, I wasn't completely there, and well, I crashed my motorcycle... I know I was unconscious for a while but Jumin was in pursuit not too long after I left him. So he luckily got to me rather quickly... he saved me really. His voice brought me out of my unconscious state, and he took care of me until proper help came." Zen smiled at the flashback but then frowned, knowing how the night ended. 

Zen looked up to all his friends, examining their reactions this far, because this next part of the story was crucial and intimate. 

Zen sighs softly, "Throughout the whole day I realized finally why I had been so emotional and hostile towards Jumin not just that day but in general... I hated him because... because I loved him..." he quickly and tightly shut his eyes while pulling his hand away from Seven's and bringing his hands up to hide his face. Not wanting to see his friend's expression after hearing this. 

It was quiet and it half comforted Zen and half taunted him as well. 

Seven reached for Zen's hand again, and Zen let him take it, shock and curiosity filling him. 

Seven gave a closed eyed smile as he toppled both hands over Zen's one hand, "So you have feelings for a man? And you were worried about what we would think? I'm bisexual, Zen, why on this glorious earth would I ever judge you?!" Zen smiled softly and began to cry again. 

Zen leapt a bit from his position against V to hug Seven, who was surprised at Zen's behavior but accepted the hug gladly no less. He hugged Zen tightly back, he was going to need a lot of support. These types of things were always hard, he knew from experience. He would definitely be there for Zen along his journey. 

V shifted, a little unsettled by the news, particularly about the parts that included his best friend and also at the way Zen hugged Seven. He knew it was pure and innocent but sometimes he just gets possessive, secretly. He doesn't like to show such a thing regularly. It wasn't in his nature, it's baffling that Zen is able to trigger this sort of thing from him. But V doesn't mind one bit.

Jaehee just looked dumbfounded but her eyes also held an understanding look to them. 

And Yoosung had his mouth open wide as he processed everything.

After their hug, Zen wiped at his tears and took his place leaning onto V again. 

"I was just as shocked, trust me... I found out that I detested him because he had everything, including my heart... a man who had everything..." Zen eyes fell down again onto the sheets. "And I was angry at that fact, you know, I always wanted to challenge him so that not everything went smoothly for him... but I betrayed myself and ended up falling for him." 

"He was being so kind and caring to me that day, saving me and all, being on alert constantly to make sure I was really alright. He... he even carried me at one point too." Zen laughed shortly at the thought and V's insides twisted again. 

"In the hospital, I finally decided to reveal this to him. And at first he seemed like he cared... he was nice and hugged me to comfort me as I cried, after explaining everything I just did to you all. But I... I did something wrong. Something bad... I kissed him. I just... I thought he felt the same! He was being so warm and understanding in the moment so I went for it! I'm so stupid! So stupid!" Zen was on the verge of another breakdown, repeating the last phrase while shaking his head side to side rather violently as he held his head with both hands. 

V took action immediately, grabbing hold of Zen's hands, successfully stopping his head from shaking, but Zen tensed at the touch and pulled away. V hugged him tightly from behind, letting his head fall into the crook of Zen's porcelain neck. 

"Shhh..." V whispered to calm Zen.

Seven reached for Zen's hand again as did Jaehee to Zen's other. Yoosung was still young and was a bit spooked at the situation, he had silently looked up to Zen all these years. So to see his idol fall apart was hard on him in a different way from the others. 

He pushed his feelings aside though and began to rub Zen's leg comfortingly over the sheets. 

Seven spoke up first, "Zen, listen to me, you're not stupid for loving another man, and you're not stupid for acting on those feelings. And acting on your heart doesn't make you wrong or a bad person either. It's normal and it's human and it can't be stopped." Seven's voice was serious and gentle now, not his usual teasing tone. It was good to know that Seven knew when to put a halt to his usual strange and playful behavior. 

Zen got the courage to continue, "After I did that he pushed me away and got ready to leave... I called for him. Needing some closure some explanation..." Zen squeezed Seven and Jaehee's hands, "He gave me closure alright. What he said was..." 

He exhaled sharply, "You see, the thing with a man who has it all, is that he won't want anything else. Not even another's heart. Especially not yours." 

Zen barely got the words out before he completely broke down, there was no regaining himself for a while. It was just like the way he was left last night. It was painful and scary to see Zen this way. Their eyes widened at what had happened last night and at how vulnerable Zen is. 

As it sunk in, the other members all came in for a hug as Zen again clung to V for support just like last night. A heartfelt group hug as they all shared Zen's pain at the moment. 

Yoosung was now in tears and so was Seven. Yoosung was just sensitive and his heart went out to Zen, his idol. And Seven, he could relate to this a lot. It happened to him once too, but no one was there to comfort him or help him regain the confidence he had lost. So he would be there for Zen one hundred percent. 

Jaehee's not only Zen's fan but his friend, so when he hurts, so does she. This wasn't a scene from a play, this was real, and she needed to help Zen. 

Zen was now reduced to an emotional wreck. Crying from recalling the events of last night, reliving the heartbreak and rejection, and gratitude and love for his friends right now. 

~

Zen cried himself to sleep once more. He laid peacefully against V's chest. V was happy that Zen had firstly turned to him for comfort, and was glad to be of help but, the man needed to use the bathroom, badly. 

He had been hosting his body out to Zen for comfort since last night and he was starting to become antsy. 

The other members were still circled around Zen's bed, Seven sitting on the bedside table, Jaehee had brought a chair over, and Yoosung leaned against the foot of the bed. They were all letting the news sink in, questions were answered but new ones formed from this too. 

"Had you already known about this, V?" Jaehee suddenly asked. 

V looked up, no one had said a thing for a while so it took him by surprise, "I knew the basics... When I arrived last night, Zen was a mess, he came undone. So I of course rushed to his side, initially thinking it was because of pain or injury. Even though... Jumin said he had been fine earlier that night. But Zen quickly told me that he loved Jumin, but that Jumin, something. He didn't finish the sentence but I could put the pieces together from there. So I embraced him and let him find comfort by hugging me. We fell asleep soon after... but I didn't know the full story till now." V admitted while softly shaking his leg, he still needed to use the bathroom. 

"Wow.. I see... I just can't believe Mr. Han snapped at Zen that way. It's almost impossible to think Mr. Han lost all his poise and composure." Jaehee brings her hand up to her chin as she thinks deeply. 

"I was thinking the same. You all I know I joke about Jumin being gay... and he doesn't like it but he never seemed seriously angry when it came to that." Seven sighed. 

"I was perplexed by his words as well... he's harsh sometimes but more of in a blunt, unintentional way. Though this... took it too far. I'm sure he was shaken by the news and... Zen's lips, and he has the right to feel however he does but, he didn't need to be so cruel. He knows Zen has struggled with anything having to do with 'being gay' and his sexuality..." V furrows his brows and messes with Zen's hair, petting it down since it was disheveled. 

Yoosung keeps quiet for now but nods to acknowledge everyone else. 

"Hey ah, do you need to use the bathroom V? I can takeover for you so you can go." Seven noticed V shaking his leg and offers to take V's place behind Zen. 

V suppressed a glare, "I just don't want to wake him..." he uses it as an excuse but it's also the truth. 

"V, if you need to go you really should, at least while he's in deep sleep." Jaehee adds. 

V sighs, he doesn't like this one bit, but they're right and he doesn't need to be so possessive or jealous. He promised to help heal Zen and console him, not try to seduce or be possessive of him. Not yet at least. 

"Very well, thank you, Luciel." V smiles at Seven who is cheerfully hopping off his seat at the table, and walking over to V's side. 

V slowly and carefully removes himself from under Zen, and as soon as he's free, Seven slips into place. Gently lifting Zen's frame up and placing him snuggly into his chest just as he was against V. 

"Now go take care of your business, god Seven has it all under control." Seven smirks, silently applauding himself. 

V only smiles but his eyes don't. He leaves but not before glancing back once to make sure it's really ok. Seven waves and Yoosung giggles. 

After V leaves Jaehee smiles, "Its really endearing and it always leaves me in awe at how much V really cares for us all." 

"Especially Zen huh!" Yoosung adds innocently. 

Jaehee and Seven both shoot each other a look and Yoosung looks back and forth between the two, completely clueless. 

"What's going on?" He says in a higher pitch, wanting in on these silent messages between the other two. 

Seven smirks devilishly as he's about to speak but again, like last night, Jaehee thwarts his plans, "Its nothing, it was just a good observation, Yoosung." She assures coolly. 

Seven clicks his tongue but laughs. 

They were so consumed with their own chatter they had failed to notice another presence that had entered the room. The man of the hour, and speak of the devil, Jumin Han. 

"How's he doing?" A deep voice erupts from the end of the room and the members freeze as if they've been caught doing something bad. 

"Mr. Han! What.. what are you doing here? You haven't contacted me about your arrival or visit here." Jaehee stands up and greets Jumin timidly. His aura was intimidating and dark. 

Jumin didn't even bother to meet her gaze, he only walked past her and closer to the bed. "It's my hospital, I don't need to notify you when I visit." He announced easily. 

Seven tensed, and squeezed Zen absentmindedly, as if to protect him or shield him. 

And Yoosung... Yoosung was quite out of character. 

Before Jumin got too close to Zen's bed, he stepped in front of Jumin, looking up at him with a determined face. 

Jumin loomed over him easily, he met Yoosung's gaze and scoffed. "What? Am I some sort of a criminal now?" 

Yoosung crossed his arms, not budging one bit. His own fear and intimidation was brushed to the side, he wanted to protect his friend, his idol, Zen. 

Seven spoke up, voice even, "No. But according to Zen you stole his heart, so to him, you are." 

Jumin locked his gaze onto Zen's sleeping frame, he looked serene, his hair falling to his sides and face perfectly. It seemed to have gotten wavy after sleeping on it. He looked good, Jumin would never deny Zen's beauty but, he was a guy. It was almost a shame but that was not his taste in the slightest. 

Seven hugged Zen closer to himself, feeling uncomfortable for Zen under Jumin's intense gaze. 

"Ah, he's told you. Why do I feel like a stranger in my own hospital? Among my own friends? I did nothing wrong." He said with a sigh inching past Yoosung. 

Jaehee speaks her mind, "It's not as if we're picking sides here Mr. Han. But Zen is obviously more affected by what happened last night compared to you." 

"Yeah, you look sharp as usual, you have a pep in your step. One could say you're doing great actually." Yoosung's tone is daring, something in him sparked apparently. 

Just as Jumin gets at the foot of the bed, he pauses. 

"Plus, I don't think Zen will be pleased to see the face of the person who rejected him when he awakes, Jumin. I really think it's in all of our interests if you leave for now." Seven proposes politely. Not trying to add to the tension. 

Jumin's head is cast down, but he smirks, "I may not return Zen's feelings but he's still a friend, I only wanted to check and see how he's doing." He says smoothly. 

"Right. Check how he's doing after the accident or after you left him to comfort himself as he broke down?" Yoosung is dangerously taunting Jumin right now. 

Jumin pivoted to look back at Yoosung, "What do we have here? Mighty Yoosung, this is just the audacity we need at C&R. Maybe I should break hearts more often, it gets you all defensive and fired up." He teases as he leans back on the foot of the bed, crossing his arms in amusement. 

"Mr. Han!" Jaehee reprimands Jumin.

Yoosung is about to lunge at Jumin but a grip on his shoulders stop him, thankfully. And it's a miracle that Zen hasn't awaken just yet. 

V was back. And V was seething with a rage he didn't know he could ever possess. 

Yoosung can feel V's energy and he shrinks into himself, glaring at Jumin quickly before walking to Jaehee's side almost like he's putting himself in timeout. 

Seven was holding onto Zen for dear life, to shield him from all this, but he realizes it's a bit excessive and also he doesn't want to wake or harm him. Especially in the middle of all this. 

Everyone in the room is quiet for a moment, the other members watching V and Jumin's silent confrontation. 

Jumin is a bit taken aback by V's sudden appearance, but soon he lets himself settle and a casual yet smug smile creeps onto his face. 

"V. It's good to see you, you're looking well. You always seem to glow whenever you're around Zen, perhaps you influenced his odd behavior towards me?" He says while putting his hands into his pants front pockets. 

V's lip twitches as it resists the urge to snarl at Jumin's comment. He closes his eyes and inhales deeply, then exhales. He's the leader of the RFA, and he has to remain calm. No matter how much he wants to defend Zen and thoroughly express his displeasure towards Jumin at the moment. 

"I think it's best if you leave now, Jumin." V calmly responds. 

"Oh? But I haven't seen you in forever, and no one has told me If our lovely Zen is doing well either." He turns around, dismissing V, and walks to be by Zen and Seven's side. 

Seven instinctively pulls Zen in towards himself and away from Jumin. 

"You all are acting ridiculous at the moment." He furrows his brows

"I just want to check in on a dear friend, lovely Zen can't be all scratched up now can he?" He keeps a cool face as he reaches and brushes his fingers against Zen's cheek softly. 

Seven cant do anything except hope Zen doesn't wake up, "Get your hands off of him, now." V barks from directly behind Jumin.

Jaehee looks frozen in place and poor Yoosung's resolve from earlier has collapsed and he's almost in tears from what's happening. 

"He's a Patient in my hospital, and a friend, I think it's perfectly fine if I, do stuff like this..." he bends down and kisses the top of Zen's head, letting Zen's silver and silky locks connect with his lips. He briefly hums with content.

V spins Jumin around completely by harshly taking hold of one of his shoulders, "What is wrong with you? You have no right to touch him so casually and intimately after what you did to him. You clearly expressed how you felt so why are you acting like this?!" V's words come out through pursed lips and he cracks his fingers now individually to subdue himself. It's seriously a wonder how V can get so fiery unlike himself when it involves Zen.

Jumin is taken aback for a moment, but grins nonetheless, "It seems like you're upset right now?" He says while eyeing V's fingers that are cracking relentlessly. 

V ignores the comment, and Zen flutters his eyes open, he shifts, and it seems loud since the room is dead silent. 

Everyone turns to look, Jumin included. 

Who makes sure that he's the first face Zen sees when waking. 

Placing his hand under Zen's chin, he directs Zen's attention to him. Zen's ruby red eyes widen and glisten. 

"Miss me? Lovely Zen." Jumin says silkily. 

Zen is too perplexed to think properly, but before he can, Jumin is once again turned around effortlessly, and then V punched Jumin square in the face. V would regret this later.

"V!" Zen calls out. 

The blow was so hard that Jumin fell back onto the bed. His body weight crushing one of Zen's legs that had sustained more trauma and was more sensitive compared to other parts of his body. Zen winced and tears filled his eyes. 

V looks terrified at what he's just done. Years of friendship, possibly thrown out the door just now. And Zen is now in pain due to his actions. 

He quickly grabs Jumin's collar and yanks him up, "Get out." He says while shoving him back and quickly attending to Zen. 

A nurse had shown up because of the commotion, "Mr. Han! Do you want me to call security?!" She asks, startled. 

Jumin waves her off, feeling his jaw and smirking. 

"No, there's no need for that. We're all friends here, right?" He says deeply, eyeing V, and then locking eyes with Zen's watery ones. 

"Why are you being so antagonistic Jumin?" Seven asked as he hugged Zen from behind, his hold being tighter than ever. 

"Because I'm appalled by Zen's behavior, and absolutely disgusted by the fact that his lips ever touched mine." He says calmly, as if this is a normal conversation. 

Zen Is a shivering mess and he looks down, ashamed and unable to meet the piercing and judging gaze from Jumin. 

V squeezes Zen's hand and looks up to meet Jumin's eyes. He looks like he's about to say something, but is interrupted by Jumin. "I'll be off now." He says casually. 

But just as he's in the doorway, his eyes turn to look directly at Zen, "I can't stand to be in the same room as him for too long, it's sickening..." and just like that Jumin was gone. 

Jaehee was slightly trembling herself, as she hugged Yoosung who was in tears. 

Seven held onto Zen and brushed through his hair softly. While V was wiping Zen's tears away. 

"He hates me. I've put you all in the middle... I've ruined everything..." he says with blank, lifeless eyes. The tears falling were from before, he had stopped crying now. Everything became too much and it seems like he decided to shut it off. 

Like a switch, Zen numbed the ache in his heart. And began to unconsciously build up that barrier that stopped his emotions from overflowing. If he wasn't careful, he would winde up building that wall so high that it would completely cut off and isolate his feelings. 

V caught on to the shift in Zen's persona and he felt an urgency to heal Zen, quaking in fear internally at the thought of Zen becoming as heartless as Jumin Han liked to advertise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! So here's a pretty fast update, I've just been seriously eager to write this piece. I noticed my first chapter is already getting a little attention which is crazy, to me at least. I just wanted to thank those who gave me their Kudos already, it made me so happy!! Aside from that, I do apologize if there are any inconsistencies within the story or characters. I am bending the truths of it all to conform to the plot I have in mind so bear with me please! Also, sorry for demonzing Jumin lol! It hurt me too but it was necessary trust me! Just look forward to whats to come from this! Thanks again for reading, hope you enjoy! xx


	3. Stopping the Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen has been empty. Dull, quiet, and unresposive. He's back in his home but feels detached from any true essence of home. He's heading towards a downwards spiral. V struggles with Zen's behavior but let's Seven help in a way he can't for Zen at the moment. Zen opens up, and is surprised.

It's been a few weeks since Zen barred his emotions completely and began to shrivel and sink into his protective shell. 

He only stayed in the hospital a few days, but not in Jumin's. V had made the executive decision to transfer him to another hospital that had no ties with Jumin or his company. The others agreed. Although Jaehee was reluctant, it was a little different in her case since she worked under Jumin. But in the end, she couldn't deny that it was best for Zen. 

He's been released for about 3 days, he's acting very uncharacteristically unlike himself. 

And V was becoming exceedingly desperate to at least reach him, so that he could subtly and gradually pull Zen from his pit of despair. 

The other members did their best to check in on Zen, but they all had to continue with their lives. Seven was busy with hacking and working for his agency, doing missions here and there. Yoosung was actually studying, and was flipping through clubs faster than usual. And Jaehee was finding it hard to keep personal matters from business matters with Jumin. Wanting to speak about the sensitive topic not only for Zen, but to ease the RFA's relationship. 

Zen professed that he didn't want anything to change, he didn't want them to be biased, or ignore Jumin. Because it was between them, he didn't intend for this to put a kink in RFA and their relationship with one another. Zen was selfless, allowing Jumin to seek redemption towards the other members. Zen knew they were appalled by Jumin, and not exactly on good terms with him. And it was to be expected, however Zen wouldn't let it continue.

~

"I understand you want things to go back to normal, but it won't be that simple, Zen. And it's no where near your fault!" Seven took it upon himself to visit Zen in his home. Already used to seeing V there as well. It seems with his career, he's been able to put it off for a bit in order to stay by Zen's side. 

"Isn't it? You all wouldn't be against Jumin so much if I hadn't acted so carelessly." He said with a flat tone. 

"This is why we adore you Zen. You're looking out for him when he's been so cruel to you. It's almost maddening, really. You're not responsible for his behavior, he's the one who acted brashly of his own will." V chimes in, glad and impressed with Zen's ability to be so heartfelt. But also peeved, how can Zen be so thoughtful towards Jumin when his actions were so despicable. 

"It's true, but you're allowed to feel hurt or upset towards Jumin ya know? He's a successful and adept man who knows how to take care of himself, you should focus on you. And that's it." Seven says while lifting the blanket covering Zen on the couch and makes himself at home besides him. 

"I am. I mean, I'm aware but it's not fair if you're angry towards him for me. He didn't reject you all, he rejected me. And how he handled that is my problem. So don't ruin your relationship with him on my behalf." Zen leaned on Seven's shoulder, which surprised both Seven and V. 

Since Zen had been very closed off and hard to reach, physical contact was the biggest hurdle to overcome. 

Seven might've been on to something, "Hey, V, do you think you could leave us be for a moment? If that's alright with you, and Zen of course." Seven shoots V a look that convinces V to leave the room, but he still looks to Zen for permission. 

"Yeah... that's fine. Thanks V." Zen mumbles and watches V leave with a smile. 

Seven pulls from Zen and holds onto his shoulders softly, making sure they were eye to eye, "Im sorry I haven't been able to come visit these days, you know it's tough with my line of work and all. But V has been keeping me updated, in fact he would report to me so often that I got in trouble with my maid for not focusing on my work!" His laugh was hardy and playful. 

Zen slowly cracks a smile, something about Seven's goofiness could either be irritating or just what was needed at the moment. Seven was glad it was the latter. 

Releasing his hold on Zen, he places his head back on his shoulder, playing with Zen's hair. It was a hard habit to break for all the members, his hair was just so pretty and soft, you gravitate to it without second thought. 

"Back to V, he's told me you've been... absent. Both here and here!" Seven says while poking Zen's head and chest area, more so his heart. "This is normal, especially after what you've been through, I know the signs Zen. I've been in your shoes before. You want to isolate yourself in a perfect little cocoon to ward off any chances of this happening again, right?" Seven squeezes Zen's arm. 

Zen only froze but nodded in agreement. He was cautious of Seven but also wanted his help. He knew Seven would be able to see straight through him, no actor would be able to deflect Seven's insight concerning this matter. And this terrified Zen, he wasn't sure he was ready to admit what he was doing to himself and yet he felt Seven was the only one who could understand. 

"Aha, god Seven knows all hehe. But in all seriousness, are you only opening up to be because you feel familiarity between us, a similarity in the way our hearts work?" He offers with careful gentleness in his words. 

"Yes." Zen closed his eyes shut. 

"V was telling me how you were acutely aware of any touch, and that you were repelled by it-" Seven was cut short.

"You're a real pain ya know? I feel most vulnerable but the most safe when you visit. You know the situation well and you know me well, and it's unnerving to be analyzed so easily. Being an actor and all, I'm not used to being so... transparent. But its comforting to know you can really empathize with me." Zen pushed away and fell backwards onto the couch, throwing a mini fit. 

Seven laughed and glanced to Zen with soft eyes. "I think you'll be more than surprised to find that other members have more in common with you than you think..." he relented breathlessly, referencing a date and a kiss between him and their beloved college cutie.

Zen propped himself up on his elbows and looked curiously to Seven who was suddenly immersed in la-la-land with a questionable look on his face, the guy was practically drooling with silly heart eyes. 

"Dude... what do you mean?" 

Seven sat up straight, feeling caught redhanded. He turned and smiled nervously at Zen who had a fierce look in his ruby red eyes. 

"NOTHING! Back to the problem at hand, ahem, you don't feel you have to hold back with me right? Since I'm bisexual, you feel more at ease. I'm glad, honored really, but you have to understand that the others will also look at you no differently just as I am this moment!" Seven says strongly but he's still cheerful. Seven was something else. 

"You're right. Eerily correct to be honest, but I feel weird asking them for help or seeking comfort from them. Especially from the guys... of course I'd love if they were able to console me and not have any qualms about touching me or accidentally brushing against me..." Zen sighs hopelessly. 

"But I don't want them to feel uncomfortable at the expense of my own comfort." He says with a forced smile, not his usual fast heart beat inducing smile. 

"Gahhh! You're too nice Zen! Really, you shine too bright even now." Seven plays and shuts his eyes while putting his hands out in front of him, as if Zen is blinding. 

Zen basks in the praise and let's himself go for a moment, laughing at how Seven can be just as dramatic as he is at times. 

Putting his hands down and then behind his head and opening his eyes slowly, Seven leans back against the couch cushions. "But... if V has been trying to initiate some physical comfort to you, don't you think that means he's okay with touching you despite being aware of how your heart and mind works?..." And there it was, the topic Zen was hoping Seven didn't notice, I guess you really do have to be diligent to be a hacker. 

"It could be... that I'm just not ready to be touched by him. I know in the hospital we were in close physical contact but ever since Jumin showed up again... I guess since they're best friends I feel Jumin through V? And... it's different I guess, letting him be so affectionate towards someone like me when he's not the same. I'm not sure, I can't figure myself out these days..." Zen drops his head down and lays back onto the couch, getting into the fetal position. 

"I don't want to push you too hard to understand yourself yet, but it's also not good to linger in limbo for too long. Don't you think that's a little unfair for V? Haha, the man punched Jumin on your behalf, I think that's enough to distance himself from any similarity with Jumin. Besides, he's been the most dedicated to you, it must be painful for him to want to help but restrain himself for you. It's like me watching Yoosung finish all my Honey Buddha Chips but not being able to do anything about it because I care for him and want him to have them." Seven goes into deep thought, slightly cringing while imagining his chips being finished. 

Zen considered Seven's words carefully and thoughtfully. He knew he was being irrational and wrong for turning a cold shoulder to V, when all he's done is cater to him. But Seven's words weighed heavily onto him and he already felt constricted enough. This was V they were talking about though. Their leader that they all adored and looked up to so much, the friend that was like the glue to the RFA, and the man that saved Zen first. Should Zen let V save him again?.... 

Zen contemplated this particular thought. He was such an imbecile to not see this before. V was always the one to watch Zen through the shadows as he himself shined more and more with his career, not there entirely but his presence was felt at all times. Reassuring Zen that if need be, he'd be there in a heartbeat. It was V in his most basic self, being the protector and savior in Zen's case. He needed V the most right now. 

Zen leapt up from the couch, covering Seven in the blanket during the process. 

Seven was tangled and trying to wrestle his way out of the blanket while speaking, "Hey! Zen! W-where are you going?! Agh! It's so dark!" He whined 

Before Zen was out the door he thanked Seven, "Tch, don't you think space is pretty dark too??" He commented with a laugh and left. 

~

Zen didn't have to walk far, V was at the local Vendor by his house, buying some street snacks to pass the time by he assumed. 

V's eyes glanced sideways and immediately recognized Zen's figure, he turned sharply with that inviting smile on his face. "Oh! Zen, here, I got these for you, it's been a while since you had them huh?" V placed the fish shaped buns into Zen's hands and paid the man while smiling brighter than one should when purchasing such food. 

"By the way... where's Seven? Did you two finish?..." he pressed carefully. Not wanting to scare Zen off. 

In spite of himself, Zen only locked eyes with V as he approached him once again and decided to hug V tightly out in public. He couldn't hide his adoration towards V from the public as if V was the part of himself he was trying so desperately to hide in the first place. No. The world would know how great V is and how dear he is to Zen. And so would V now, hopefully. 

V was surely taken aback, he hadn't come into contact physically with Zen for a long while now, since before he was released even. But V knew this was an important step for Zen, he could feel Zen's warmth surround him entirely. Zen's hugs were the best. Not just because it was him giving the hug, although it helped, it was just that Zen never took hugs lightly. He made sure to convey whatever message he needed just through the hug itself. And V would never figure out why he opted for this when he's so good with words, but V would also not complain. 

'I'm sorry and I appreciate you.' Is precisely what V was able to discern from the hug. 

Zen only clung to V tighter as V held him back with the same strength. V was intoxicated just with this. Feeling Zen's body pressed flush against his own, the quick beating of their hearts becoming synchronized, and the scent of Zen was all too fulfilling for V. He wanted to linger longer, but he's always been respective and protective of Zen's image. And even though Zen wanted to make this statement, they were beginning to attract too much attention. So he begrudgingly let his hold on Zen loosen, and gently pushed him away. 

V could almost swear he heard a quaint whimper or whine from Zen, but he wouldn't get his hopes up. Not now. 

Zen looked to V and flashed that smoldering smile, although shyer than usual, and played with his loose silver hair. 

"Let's go back home now." V said casually and placed his hand at the small of Zen's back to lead him forward. Since Zen still seemed dazed and surprised at himself for his boldness. 

But really, what rattled him was how V so nonchalantly referred to 'home.' And it sounded pleasant to Zen's ears he would admit. And so he began to wonder about V and the warmness he emitted when they were together. 

~

Just as they were to enter the house again, Seven opened the door and paused, looking the two up and down, down and up. With a sly grin to V, and then a bright smile to Zen. V shifted, not liking the mischievous look given to him by Seven. Surely he hadn't caught on to his feelings towards Zen? 

Zen batted his eyelashes with a small smile, "You should thank Seven, he acted as my mirror and I was able to see clearly my wrongdoings..." Zen admitted bashfully. 

"I don't know what you two talked about, but I am grateful. Anything to help Zen." He added in a breathless lower tone. 

"No problem no problem!" Seven waved his hands. "Although he did desert me and left me to try and untangle myself from that evil blanket." He glanced behind him as he pointed a thumb over his shoulder with a grimace. 

"Ha.. right. Sorry. I just needed to get to V precisely in that moment." He stole a gaze to his left and briefly locked gazes with V.

"Mhmn... Well then, my work here as god Seven is done. I'll leave you two, I've got to get back anyways, there's a particular mission I've yet to complete... 

V and Zen shuddered at Seven's tone, knowing full well that he was up to no good. But they stepped aside to let him exit anyways. 

"Laterz." He simply waved a hand and then placed both into his hoodie pocket. He glanced back once more to see the two men enter the home. 

"Seems Jaehee and I had correct thoughts about V... haha. I guess it makes sense, he always marveled at Zen. Probably photographed him more than Rika..." Seven widened his eyes, shocked that he never noticed such a thing until now. He silently smiled and wished the two males luck. He was definitely rooting for V, but he hoped Zen didn't catch on too quick. His heart needed to be put together again before such a thing should happen. 

Plus, Seven was now focused on his personal mission now. Seeing V and Zen more cozy with one another ignited the urge to see his hardworking college cutie, CC for short as he'd nicknamed Yoosung who - despite his eye rolling and whining, actually had been quite taken by the affectionate nickname. Of course, because he thought it sounded cute but if Seven liked it, he'd endure anything. 

'Typical masochist..' Seven thought with a lustful smirk. They hadn't gone too far, but Seven was willing to test the waters tonight. And hopefully, in the morning, he'd be able to mentally checkmark the mission as 'complete.' 

~

Back at Zen's home, V was attempting to cook a tasty sort of comfort food for Zen. For simplicity measures, and safety measures, V opted for some beef Jeon minus Makgeolli. It was a common comfort food and one of the ones V knew how to make fairly well. V was always watchful of Zen when he drank, but after his trip to the hospital he couldn't be drinking this soon. Hopefully his cooking could make up for the lack of its alcoholic companion. 

"Mmm... Smells good chef!" Zen inhaled the aroma of V's cooking from the couch, and decided to go view the process. 

Zen always laughed when V would cook, because he knew in V's mind, he was somewhere between a bad cook and an okay one. In reality V was a good cook, exceptional really. But V would always become so intense and focused, making sure the meal was, as he said, "edible." 

V sighed as he felt Zen loom over him, examining him cooking. "Don't tease me, I'm doing my best, I don't cook often or for anyone else for that matter." He said plainly while wiping the little bead of sweat from his brow, he really did concentrate and stress too much. How adorable. 

Zen barely caught his laugh, "Phft!-" he then clasped his hand over his mouth and stepped back away from V. Knowing how V can get somewhat defensive over his cooking. 

V paused whatever he was doing. And some part of Zen wanted to get out of his cramped kitchen, but also wanted to see how this would play out. He was starting to feel lively again, afterall. 

V slowly turned around with an eyebrow raised, "Are you trying to bite the hand that currently feeds you, Zen?" He said in his usual low voice, but it was easy to sense that it was laced with challenge. 

Zen shuddered but still had to exhale deeply after removing his hand from his face, keeping his cool. His wide grin still lingered though, "Of course not, but I'm sure your hand would taste better than that burning beef." Zen pointed out as he leaned to look past V's frame. 

V's eyes practically bulged from his sockets as he whipped around to tend to the food and Zen lost it, laughing uncontrollably, grabbing his stomach. 

V pursed his lips but then let it form onto a kind smile, reveling in Zen's laugh. It's been too long since he heard it's melodic rhythm. Zen had a lovely laugh, it wasn't contagious like Yoosung's or Seven's, but it made you want to laugh nonetheless. Partially in hope that maybe your own laugh could accentuate and resonate with Zen's, a perfect match in frequency. 

V let Zen laugh on his own though, so he could recognize it's own beauty as it is, independent. Which is what Zen needed for the time being. He would silently aid Zen, and let him rise from the ashes of these past days like a Phoenix. That actually sounded nice, V thought to himself, it represented Zen perfectly, entirely. 

An emotional creature that can crumble and fade almost too easily, but from the downfall can rise to greater heights in rebirth. He dare say that he hopes this only makes Zen stronger, as he did with previous troubling moments in his life. 

V was pulled from his reverie when Zen's laughter stilled and Zen sat on the counter next to him as he continued cooking. And it was almost done. 

"To be honest you're actually really good at this." Zen watched intently as V flipped some vegetables and began to plate the food. 

"That's because I have to focus more intensely than someone whose cooking such a basic dish should." V was flattered, and hid his face subtly. 

"About that... earlier you said you didn't cook often, or for anyone. Haven't you cooked for the others?" Zen was curious and intrigued, he didn't let his laughter deflect from his inquisition. 

V looked tense, he had hoped Zen didn't take that blabbed piece of information to heart. He was too consumed with trying to cook a good meal. Hopefully his cover up would be convincing, even though it wasn't a lie, it wasn't the full truth. 

"Well, no, none of them have gotten in motorcycle accidents so my special services only apply to you." He looks at Zen with a teasing disappointed look, he really cursed that damned motorcycle of Zen's even if he looked tantalizing on it. 

Zen studied V's face as he said this. Sensing some undisclosed information but, V has always been secretive, it's just his nature. So he lets it go seeing as it's futile and the food looks ready. More than that, it looks absolutely delicious. 

Zen absentmindedly licks his lips in anticipation and V's heart beats rapidly. He averts his attention by giving Zen a plate of the beef Jeon. 

V begins to leave to the table but stops as he doesn't hear footsteps following from behind. "Zen? Aren't you coming?" He asks with a perplexed look. 

"Hmn... no, I've never been traditional anyways, join me here?" He shakes his head with a grin. 

V accepts the invitation happily, leaning his back against the counter in front of Zen, who is still sitting comfortably atop the other counter, occasionally swinging his legs. 

"Well? Aren't you going to taste it. Is there something wrong with it?" V noticed that Zen hadn't touched the food since being given it.

Zen perked up, barely blushing, and nodded his head no. "I want you to know how good of a cook you really are..." Zen removed himself gracefully from his seat on the counter, and only needed a step or two to reach V. 

Zen confidently brings the food up to V's mouth, wanting to feed him his own food. Zen started to blush more noticeably now as V didn't move, he looked stunned and Zen was embarrassed. 

He was about to pull the food away, feeling silly and discouraged, but V saw the hurt look on Zen's face and rose the occasion. Grabbing Zen's hand back and feeding himself with Zen's hand under his own. 

Zen was shaken by the sudden acceptance and warm hand over his own, the forceful feel of it being pulled to V's mouth but it was still somehow gentle, thoughtful. 

V was blushing now, although it was faint. Zen watched V eat with widened and glistening eyes, surprised and bashful and eager for V to realize his food wasn't subpar as he'd like to believe. 

Zen looked to V expectancy, shortly standing on his heals then his toes, swaying impatiently. This urged V to finish and give a response, but he also wanted to take his time. Because Zen was right, it did taste delicious, it was hard to believe this was his doing in all honesty. 

He gulped and gave an awkward smirk. "You're right... it's quite tasteful." 

Zen beamed and tried some for himself, he had been dying to dig in but didn't want to do so until he made his point across to V. He wouldn't let V feel lessened in any way. Not as a friend, not as a leader, and surely not as a cook. 

"Mhnnn..." Zen moaned and closed his eyes, savoring the food that was prepared masterfully. That was just V for you, he did everything well, but was too humble at times so much so that he failed to give himself proper credit where credit was due. 

V was seriously mentally scolding himself for being slightly aroused at hearing Zen's unintentionally lewd voice. It exemplified the blush on V's flustered face especially knowing that Zen didn't bother to change out utensils. 

Zen looked very pleased and complimented V as soon as he finished his bite. "Wow! See, you need to learn how to accept compliments and praise more ya know, I'd be the perfect person to help you with that!" Zen mentally gave himself a thumbs up. 

"It's a perfect match huh." Zen asked rhetorically before finishing the food. It's best eaten right off the bat. 

He paused only once to speak a last time, "Also, you should blush more often. It so vivid and pretty against your cool toned features. Pale skin, eyes, hair." He studied V casually. Mentally noting that V is a balance of handsome and beautiful. 

V's lip quivered, how much more of this innocent torture would he put himself through for Zen? It was torture, an addictive brew of Zen and his charm. He didn't know how much or how long he could withstand it, but it was a pleasure to do so until his will faded. Before he did something stupid. 

"I will... seriously take that under consideration when it comes from you." V gave in, and continued to eat happily with Zen in a warm atmosphere. 

~ 

Later that night. 

V got up from the couch and patted his legs. "Thank you for letting me cook tonight, and for enlightening me on how delicious my cooking is." V teased with his usual smile. 

"But I think I should be heading out now, it's getting late..." V put his hands in the pockets of his lightweight coat. 

Zen grimaced. He's had these nightmares at night ever since V stopped spending the night after the first day of being back. 

"A-alright... thanks for taking care of me. Seriously dude, you're always there for me." Zen smiled warily. 

He's still transparent too apparently. 

"Of course, but is something wrong?" V pries as he sits back down, shifting to have his full attention to Zen, whose façade is falling considerably. 

"I don't mean to worry you further, but I've just been having these... dreams. And well, they aren't exactly pleasant when he's in them." He emphasizes the word 'he's' so that V knows exactly who he's referring to. 

V frowns but his eyes tell a different story, he's angry. He tried to reach out to Jumin to apologize for punching him, he did regret it but it seemed like the only way to stave off Jumin as he tried to make a statement. But the damned heir didn't respond. He expected that he may be angry and hurt as well, they've been friends forever, but still. Jumin was being difficult. 

"I'm sorry to hear that... do you want me to stay then?" He prods carefully. 

"N-no! Not at all, you've taken enough time from your work to be by my side. And it's not as if you can stop these bad dreams anyways..." Zen admits with a frown. 

"It's not that big of a deal, I'm a photographer so I have more freedom than with most other jobs. Besides there's no place I'd rather be, honest." V knits his brows together and smiles assuringly to Zen. 

"I can sleep on the couch even, I don't mind at all. If my presence can be of at least some comfort, than I will gladly stay." V's hoping Zen will have him. 

But is aware of the boundaries that have been put up since the first day. Zen was in a bad state of mind then, but he was nervous to be back home without any nurses or doctors on standby. So he asked V to stay, and V did, without question. But to ease himself, Zen wanted them to be as close as they were the first and second day being at Jumin's hospital. So he asked timidly, but V was beaming internally. That night they replicated their position from those times. 

"You sure?" Zen would ask once more, just to be sure V had no qualms about being with Zen longer. 

"Positive." V was confident in his answer. 

"Thanks dude." Zen laid his head on V's lap while the rest of his body outstretched on the rest of the old couch. 

~

They had been asleep for a while now. Zen was in his room, and V was on the couch with blankets and pillows. Zen actually slept soundly for a longer time than usual before the usual nightmare struck. 

It was the same basic theme, Zen relived his crash, and Jumin was there. 

~

Zen's body felt heavy in the dream, his eyes were darting around the scene, but his limbs were almost in a paralyzed state. He couldn't find his voice, only sudden strikes of lightning and the rumble of thunder. 

Tears stream endlessly from his ruby red eyes, he's in worse condition than his actual accident, he feels the warm blood seeping from him in various places. He can feel the blaze of the fire that just started on his motorcycle, the rain being too weak to tame the flickering flames. 

That wasn't the worse part. No. That part was up next. And Zen knew how it would play out, and it tore him apart each time. He let himself hope, and that ultimately hurt the most. 

He begins to accept his fate, but hears footsteps on the wet road. They get closer and he gets frantic, wanting to move, shout, alert whoever it is that he isn't dead. Yet. 

The figure is suddenly in view, and squats next to Zen's form. He glances to his right and sees a man clad in a black suit, it was intimidating. But his face was beautiful, Zen likened him to an angel of death in this moment.

It was Jumin Han. He was there like he was that day, except he didn't aid Zen. Didn't worry over Zen. Didn't care about Zen. 

This is where the dream would vary. Jumin would only lean in, letting Zen believe it was a kiss. But would then pull away with a devilish grin. And walk away, leaving Zen for dead. 

Or, Zen's initial thoughts would be correct. And Jumin was an angel of death. Coming to reap Zen's soul. Brutally, ruthlessly, happily. 

Tonight's dream favored the latter. And Zen could never figure out which he hated most. Both hurt like a bitch. One was more mental, and psychological. And one was more physical, and spiritual. Two types of pain that Zen couldn't bear. 

Right on queue, Jumin offers a sickeningly sweet smile, and plunges his hand deep into Zen's heart. Stopping it effectively. 

Zen finally is able to break away from him being paralyzed and his scream is heart wrenching and his voice is broken by the intensity of it all. His eyes are in pain from how tightly he's shut them. And his body is convulsing from the sheer pain. But he's not dead yet, far from it. 

Regardless if this is how an angel of death typically reaps its victims, this was how Jumin Han did. 

He would strike the heart first. Then the mind. 

Jumin pulled his hand from Zen's chest, there was no blood or puncture though. And raised it to Zen's head, he rolled his eyes back from the pain and writhed in agony. It was like his brain was melting and crumbling at the same time. 

The heart. The mind. The soul.

Jumin placed his lips on Zen's now. Keeping eye contact with the victim so he can see his soul be devoured whole. Stealing it through his lips. And Zen's heavy body was now weightless, he felt detached from the physical earth and was desperate to grab at anything to keep him here. But he couldn't go yet. 

The heart. The mind. The soul. And body. 

This was the most graphic part. Jumin devoured Zen's physical body whole. So that his newly stripped soul would have no where to go. The nerves on Zen's still barely alive body were on fire. 

And the lightning struck around him and Jumin while the thunder roared loudly. As if mocking Zen. 

~

Zen was wriggling on the bed, tossing and turning, grabbing onto anything around him harshly. He was crying. 

And V was alerted as soon as Zen's tears were accompanied by audible sobs. 

He ran into Zen's room frantically, "Zen!" He rushed to his side and began to shake Zen so he could awaken from his bad dream. This nightmare. 

Zen fluttered his tired and teary eyes open, not registering what has happened just yet. 

But as he sees the scared and worried look on V's angelic face, it hits him, hard. And he crumbles. Clinging to V for dear life. Gasping for breath with the intensity of his crying. V welcomed Zen easily and embraced him sternly, to ease himself and Zen. 

He wouldn't ask what happened in his dreams. Not unless Zen wanted to speak of it, and if he did, he was in no condition to do so right now. 

"I'm here Zen, I've got you.. shhh..." V whispered soothingly into Zen's loose hair by his ear. 

"L-lay with me.. please." Zen struggled to get these words out, hiccups and sniffling getting the best of him. 

V gave a painful and understanding smile, as he slipped in the bed with Zen, pulling him into his chest. Zen's face was right near V's chest, he could hear his fast and concerned heartbeat slow, and steady after a while. 

This was a trick of V's, he responded to it as a kid and still did. But he figured out it worked for Zen too, a long time ago. For some odd reason, his heartbeat always managed to calm Zen and lull him into a dazed state. Eventually putting him to sleep. It could be because Zen matched his own heart with V's, but he never knew exactly why Zen responded to it so well. 

Zen was glad, he snuggled himself closer into V. Resting his hands on V's chest as it rose and fell with each breath. 

His head began to throb, so he hoped V's quick thinking would work faster than usual so he could sleep. Safely. Comfortably. Happily. 

But it worked as fast as usual, and Zen had to wait a bit while his mind terrorized him with these horrid thoughts. 

He knows for a fact he has prophetic dreams. He's never doubted them, and they've never let him down. So this one dream- nightmare, shook his entire being to the core. Because for once, he couldn't possibly figure out what it meant. And the fact that it was a recurring nightmare, only petrified him more. And he was already shaking against V's firm and protective frame. 

He was brought out of his wicked thoughts when he felt a warm sensation at the center of his head. 

V placed a chaste but meaningful kiss atop Zen's head. Inhaling deeply to smell Zen's addictive scent. 

Zen was shocked still for a moment, it was as if V knew Zen was being his own worst enemy. Zen smiled and tears flowed from his eyes again, from his fondness for the man snuggling with him. V was so good to him. He loved V. He didn't know if he did before but he did now. Seriously. 

Letting his mind take over again, he begins to think of his life without V. Without his guidance, support, company, love. He wasn't sure if V loved him. He could barely figure out now that he loved V. He's never known love in his life. Didn't ever feel it or understand it. He's liked people before, he's dated of course. But it wasn't deep or poetic. It was shallow and basic. But the way V has always been there for Zen... sure he was the leader of the RFA and they all adored him to no end. But Zen in this moment, had to think that this was different. 

His love now for V was innocent. Deep adoration and passion to someone close to him. Dare he say the person he's closest to besides Seven. But him and Seven weren't like this. Not at all. This was completely different. And Zen was basking in whatever this was, reveling in it, soaking it up for all he can. 

Zen weakly lifted his head up, and kissed V's collarbone and fell back down into V's chest. 

V was taken aback, but his eyes held a softness and love that Zen wouldn't be able to see just yet. He hugged Zen tighter in acknowledgement. 

Humming slowly and deeply, offering Zen a shortcut to sleep. Zen was grateful and accepted the low hums easily. Drifting into a peaceful slumber with V following close behind. 

"Goodnight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... another update before I become busy this week. I don't know if I'll make a updating schedule, or it thats even for me. Since I write based off sudden sparks of inspiration/motivation rather than of my own free will and determination. And you all have seen the product of such writing so maybe I'll stick with, yeah?! This chapter is odd for me, idk why, maybe it's the prophetic dream part. I've never written anything like it so I hope you're open to it! Btw I didn't proofread this it was so long and I got tired lol so sorry 'bout. Thanks for all your support and I hope you enjoy!


	4. Path to Normalcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a good while since the incident with Jumin. Although Zen is still undeniably forever changed from the incident, he's on the path to normalcy. And Zen has been feeling more like himself, entertaining the notion of becoming an idol to fulfill his aspirations as a multifaceted person. Amidst all this, V initiates a secret meeting with Jumin with intentions of peaceful relations. And Zen's stalker-hacker of a fan 'unknown' has resurfaced yet again, posing quite the threat and challenge for Seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh. I'm back! It has seriously been too long, not gonna lie. I was riddled with exams and stress and life in general lol. And besides the fact that I couldn't find time to write a decent chapter, but I was hesitant of where I wanted the this story to branch off from here. Typical "writers block?" I'm not even sure that can apply to me since I normally only write when I get a spark of inspiration to ignite my writing. Which in fact, also contributes to my lack of updates and I know it's bad but the only writing I do that I like comes from random inspiration outbursts lol. Which sucks. Anyways, thank you to all the new readers that encouraged me to write again and to any older readers who anticipated another chapter! Not sure if this is any good or not, kind of an ice breaker chapter for my writing again. But hopefully it's enjoyable! From now on, I'm going to try to update more often too and get back in the flow of writting in general ~

It's been a considerable amount of time since the incident. And Zen's life could be likened to that of a complex rollercoaster, engineered by all sorts of twists and turns. Loops, hills, corkscrews, you name it and that was Zen's life as of recently. But this rollercoaster has mellowed lately, and most thanks should go to V. Whose ridden the rollercoaster of Zen's life willingly. 

And Zen was seriously appreciative for it, but he didn't particularly like coming back to reality either, that in itself was a whole other amusement park attraction he didn't want to stomach. 

Now that his mind was more-less cleared of the emotional fog that clouded his mind, he's been able to think of precisely why he considered his gig in the first place. His career has hit a sort of temporary dry spell. And that terrified him to no end. For most up-coming actors, this was the end all be all of their careers. It could either mean that something great would present itself soon, or that this dry spell would turn into a sort of curse and they'd dissipate into oblivion. Sure, Zen was confident in himself, but this was a particular lengthy time with no offers, callbacks, nothing. 

And of course, V caught on, and didn't exactly tread lightly. 

"So, Zen, going back to work soon I presume?..." V nonchalantly asked while drinking tea at the table. 

Zen froze, he knew the topic would come up, but his pride hating talking about his lack of work. 

"Actually, no." Zen affirms with a lump in his throat, thinking about the pack of cigs he hid in one of his undergarment drawers. He hadn't smoked since his motorcycle incident, and was trying to stave off the urges. But with this issue in mind they suddenly became very tempting. 

"Oh? Why is that? Is everything ok?..." V prods further cautiously. V acts innocent and clueless enough, but he knows that no matter what trauma, mental or physical, that once Zen was cleared to go he'd be all over his scripts. But that hasn't happened once. And it's been about a month, give or take a week or two. This was unlike Zen. And it was alarming. 

"No yeah, everything is fine. Just a thing new actors face every now and then. I um, haven't gotten any roles or gigs lately so..." Zen is playing with his hair and biting his lip. 

V looks shocked but tranquil, for he knew something of the sort was at play. And it seriously bewildered him at how such a person could still be only vaguely known, for more than just his striking good looks. Which V knew was a struggle for Zen. Zen longed to transcend and overcome the barriers of superficiality. He was aware, acutely aware, of his devilishly drop dead looks. And he was appreciative, if not narcissistic about them. But as much as they propelled his career, they also held him back in stagnancy of where he desired to go. 

Although it was a rarity to be much more than good looks these days, people often never looked further than that when evaluating Zen. In their minds it just clicks as the first thing they see, good looking equals model. Nothing more and nothing less. And the line is so often drawn there. But little is it known that Zen is a man of many talents. 

Theres the blatantly obvious, handsome, but he's also an astounding actor, a heavenly singer, and quite the hypnotic dancer- although that has remained as one of the more obscure talents of his. Zen quite literally has it all and no one decided to divulge further, their loss. But also Zen's, and V won't have that. Especially after all he's been through. 

He's healed himself enough to where he now needs to escape for a bit. To take up a new character and role to consume him rather than his own. It's healthy to get away from your life every now and then, and being an actor who harnesses so many tropes and personalities to convey, Zen was lucky in this aspect. 

But V knew, begrudgingly faced the fact, that where Zen wanted to go wouldn't be achieved with where he aligned his path. Zen wanted strictly to have theater roles, acting roles, singing gigs, and as little modeling as possible. Zen's problem was that he wasn't solidly grounded in any of those career paths. He swayed from one to another. At the time, it seemed strategic, to be versed in it all. But time has told the outcome. 

Zen wanted it all, but couldn't exactly have it from where he stood today. 

V contemplates his train of thought carefully before beginning again, "That's a shame, im sorry, Zen..." 

Zen nods V off like it's no big deal, but inside Zen is feeling rejection and uncertainty. 

"But... have you ever considered another sort of... career path?..." V inquires dubiously. 

Zen whips his head to V's direction quickly, curious as to what V was thinking. 

"I know you want to grow in all departments: Theater, acting, singing, and even dancing... but as much as it pains me to say it, you've been struggling lately..." V gets up from the small table and walks calmly to Zen who was now on the couch. 

"Ouch, tell me something I don't know would you?" Zen teased painfully. 

V looked apologetically down to Zen, who averted his gaze hastily. 

"It seems like a no-brainer to me now, but I'm still wary of your reaction..." V beats around the bushes too long for Zen's liking. 

"Yah V! What's the key to my success?" Zen exasperates playfully. 

"Why not try to get recruited or scouted." V said plainly. As if anyone and everyone would immediately know exactly what he meant, without given any context. 

"...Scouted. A modeling agency?... V, you know how I feel-" Zen paused as V gently shook his head left to right and brought his hands up in defense. 

"As much as your fans would like that, that isn't what I meant Zen. I meant to get scouted by an agency that produces idols." V explains clearly with a wincing look, as if he's afraid of Zen's reaction. 

Zen refrains from any real reaction though, only quickly raising his brows. 

"Idols?..." Zen repeats, in deep assessment. 

"Yes, because they pretty much do everything you've always desired to do, but in one profession. Idols tend to have many doors open to them besides being in the idol industry. Many get MC opportunities, acting roles, theater gigs, they dance and sing already, if you'd be open to it later they also have modeling opportunities as well. It's everything you want right?..." V justifies calmly but there's an edge to his voice. He didn't want to upset Zen at all. 

"Of course, you'll be more widely known most likely, and more popular. And being an idol would start off as your main path... but from that path stem so many others." 

Zen shifted and V held his breath without thought. Zen's eyes were now looking up to V who was standing behind Zen on the couch. His ruby red eyes piercing and magnetic. And fierce. V got chills at the way Zen looked at him with such raw expression. Amazing. 

"That's... not a bad idea, V." Zen began to twirl his hair around his index finger, mind racing with thoughts and possibilities.

V beamed with delight and relief. 

"You know, the thought had crossed my mind a while back. When I was still in school, I think I actually got scouted quite a lot. But I waved it off each time, the prospect never really clicked with me then... but now..." Zen reminisces boastfully of all the offers he got. 

Zen slowly let a frown creep onto his features, however, and slumped more on the couch. 

"But, I'm older than how a typical idol starts off aren't I? And I haven't been under any sort of training regarding idol business... not that it's always necessary but..." Zen let doubt cloud his thoughts. 

Although Zen was considerably better now, he's noticed, along with V, that he's become painfully more pessimistic and negative. And he didn't know how to shake that mindset. He hoped it to be temporary. 

V only managed to laugh lightly, earning him a dumbfounded look from Zen. 

"Ah... sorry Zen, it's just that, you talk as if you're an old man. You may not be as young as when the majority of idols get into the business or debut, but you're still fresh with youth and vigor. And you look it too." V rubbed his neck and messed with the chain that drooped to his mid-chest area. 

"Look, it was just an idea. But if you happen to think it over and decide you're seriously interested... I think I could quicken your scouting process." V leaned on the armrest of the couch, only offering a side glance to Zen. 

"That's nice of you, V, and I appreciate it. But you know how I feel about using connections to get to where I want to be." Zen lightly nudges V's arm and then pushes himself off the couch. Dressed and ready to go for a walk, maybe light jog around a park.

"That's very noble Zen. But you must know by now that it is also a part of the discovery process. No one can get anywhere without the help of others. No matter how talented. We're social creatures, you know, we help each other and revel in one another's company. So, don't find it taboo when someone recognizes your talent and wants to help you in your journey." V replies in a wise manner. 

Zen pauses before heading out the door. He's never thought of it that way. When he's looked at connections before, he's seen it as a shortcut to the top. But in reality, he was getting recognized, and was being offered what he wanted. He briefly thinks back to Jumin's very first offers to him when they first met. And how he harshly rejected all help from Jumin. 

Had he seen something in me then?... Zen wondered to himself. 

He was brought out of his reverie when he feels a large, warm hand on his shoulder. 

"Look, I'm not criticizing the way you've done things, I'm only asking that you maybe become more open to expanding your horizons a bit." V softly squeezes Zen's shoulder before letting go and waltzing past Zen. 

"Hm? Where're you going?" Zen asks in shock. And then reprimands himself for thinking a renowned photographer has absolutely no where to be, but his home. 

"I've just got some business to attend to, is all. Nothing major, I should be back shortly after you return from your usual walk. Be careful, will you? And take it easy. And no light jogging unless it's the type that normal people do, Zen." V had relaxed his furrowed brows and offered that usual assuring smile before heading out the door. 

~ 

To: Jumin  
From: V

I'm on my way. 

~ 

V turned off his phone and placed it in his pocket, heaving a small sigh. 

It was time he and Jumin spoke one on one. He wasn't particularly looking forward to it, but he couldn't deny the pain it brought him to have things unresolved with his best friend. 

Did he deserve it? Yes, in V's eyes. Did V regret punching Jumin? Somewhat, yes. 

In a way, he felt betrayed by Jumin from what he did to Zen. Because in retrospect, that's the reaction he'd receive too.

It was like a lapse in Jumin's character that didn't coagulate with what V knew. It was foreign, unpleasant, and scary. 

So besides treating Zen badly, there's that. 

And for being the leader of the RFA, he had no clue how to go about this with Jumin. 

If Jumin wasn't his usual self, how could V properly address the situation. 

~

From: Jumin  
To: V

Driver Kim should be there to pick you up. 

~ 

V sighed, he didn't like keeping this from Zen. But it was best that he didn't know. Not now at least. 

"Sorry, Zen." V mentally apologized as he stepped into the vehicle 

~

As Zen was walking to a nearby park, he contemplated the conversation he and V had just a while ago. Zen, an idol? Part of the kpop industry? It certainly didn't sound bad, but was it really what Zen was looking for? 

Zen suddenly had the urge to speak with the most informed person of this topic that he knows. And lucky for him, she just happened to be logged onto the chatroom. 

~ 

Zen: Oh! Jaehee, hey! 

Jaehee: Zen, good afternoon. 

Zen: Do you think I could call you really quickly? I need some advice. 

Jaehee: Me? For advice?... I'm not too sure how that'll work in your favor but sure. 

~

"Jaehee! Thanks so much for letting me call you on your break." Zen sincerely thanks her. 

"I'm just glad you called. Though, I'm worried I won't help much..." Jaehee awkwardly confesses. 

"It's about my career... lately I haven't gotten any work. And earlier V and I were discussing some possible paths for me to take. And he suggested then notion of becoming an idol in the industry... what do you think?..." Zen self-consciously asks. 

Jaehee was one of his fans, and If he upset her and let her down, that would basically be the equivalent of disappointing his fans as a whole. 

And Jaehee was silent for a painfully long time. Increasing Zen's sense of dread. 

"That's actually a wonderful idea...!" Jaehee tried her hardest to contain her excitement over the phone, but her voice was strained and more high pitched than usual. 

"You really think so? As a representative of my fans and all?" Zen looked for further reassurance. 

"Yes! I think it would be the perfect way for you to hone your talents and keep your fans very content. How haven't I thought of this before?..." Jaehee ponders and trails off. 

Zen grins guiltily, "That'd most likely be my fault. I've always been so defensive of my career choices and was so strict about options that I basically denied every other besides the one I gave myself. I limited myself far too much." Zen's voice held slight embarrassment, but he sounded like he grew a lot too. 

Jaehee smiles warmly, "There's nothing wrong with having a clear cut plan, but I suppose it doesn't hurt to venture or consider other options either. I'm glad you opened up to this possibility, Zen." Jaehee pauses and her eyes are brighter than they were before the call.

"I truly believe it'll be good for you and your fans if you choose to pursue this. I wish you the best of luck, and know that I'll support you the whole way. Now then, please excuse me, I must get back to work." She finishes politely. 

Zen pockets his phone away and continues walking with a pep in his step. He still wasn't completely sure of this idol business, but he was becoming increasingly interested. 

~ 

"Come in." Jumin's deep voice radiates through the quiet room. 

V closes his eyes momentarily and primes himself to be level-headed and understanding as much as he could be, before presenting himself. 

With the door closed behind him, V begins, "Its certainly been a while, how've you been?" Starting with simple talk to ease the tension was his strategy. 

Jumin's face has remained expressionless the whole while, not impressed or not caring. "Dealing with the company has its ups and downs, but I suppose I'm doing quite alright." Jumin pauses and actually takes a moment to really look at V. 

"... and you? How have you been fairing." Jumin sorts through some files and papers swiftly. 

V grimaces, "Hey, I know this seems friendly, but I also came here in hopes to discuss more crucial matters. I'd hope you'd be less curt and pay more attention." 

Jumin immediately stops what he is doing. And fixes his gaze to V's eyes steadily, "Oh? I figured you wouldn't have scheduled time during my working hours for anything as dire you seem to speak of. I'll admit I'm a little disappointed, V. I assumed you had come to check up on me only. But you have ulterior motives." Jumin leans back on his seat but maintains pristine posture. 

V only exhales sharply, he's peeved by Jumin's tone and words because he knows what game Jumin is playing, and it's working. Jumin expects to see only his friend, not Zen's, but V is both. 

"I came to check on you and to make amends, Jumin." V explains. 

"I'm happy to hear you've come to your senses, I know I'm used to not being in contact with you for prolonged periods of time, but this was because of choice, not work. I'm relieved." Jumin manages to let fondness and relief spill over his features without smiling too much. 

"I'm pleased to get back to normal with Zen. To carry on like none of this happened. I know I complain about the members and ridicule them, but my world has been agonizingly stale. This will be good for everyone. Zen almost risked the dynamic of the group, I'm glad you are all ready for amends." Jumin smiles slightly at the prospect. 

V twitched, 'come to my senses,' what does that mean? And he's fairly certain that he entertained the idea of only him seeking amends. Not him and Zen both. 

"I really want to resolve things between us, but what did you mean by coming to my senses? And I came here alone, to speak for my amends with you, not Zen's." V can't help but clarify sharply.

Jumin pulls himself from his seat and props himself by his large office window, gazing out at the urban expanse. 

"Well, surely you've come around to understand how I felt with the whole situation. That's why you're here now. I admit I was brash and it was unbecoming of me, but I still feel the same. And I don't think I can't take back that feeling anytime soon." Jumin expresses plainly, like his words carry no weight whatsoever. 

V shakes his head and licks his lips, he really tried to be on the defensive but his resolve is eroding away with each of Jumin's words. 

"So the fact that he's been your friend for years now, means nothing. Just like that, you're willing to sever the bond between you two? I know you're not the greatest professor of emotion, Jumin, but never have you ever been this cruel. And I'm not so sure that the Jumin I'm best friends with is present." V rises from his seat slowly. Gulping because he realized that he may have projected his own role in it all. He was honest to death afraid, if Jumin felt so betrayed by Zen, one could only imagine how he'd react to finding out V is the same way. 

"If you're my best friend, shouldn't you have sided with me?" Jumin asks, innocently perplexed. 

"This isn't about sides, it's about principal and character. The way you reacted was not only childish and brutal, but it was completely brutal and cruel. Uncalled for, actually. And not only was that reaction projected in a savage manner, but it was towards Zen. A friend. How you could've so nonchalantly strike him down the way you did, is utterly beyond my comprehension." V crosses his arms and tilts his head. 

Jumin only offers a side-glance to V. 

"You forget that I was affected by this as well. My reaction aside, I'm having difficulty processing it all and compartmentalizing it. You know this of me, and yet still blame me for my actions. I don't know how to act in most situations involving even basic emotions, and Zen was overflowing with intense ones. I already admitted that my actions were harsh and uncharacteristic of me. I think I've conceded enough for now." Jumin spins around and starts towards the door, prepping for V's goodbye. 

"That's the point. You've declared your actions wrong for the sake of the action. Not the reasoning or the catalyst behind them. And if you seriously can't harness more than that, then I don't think you're in the right condition for amends or reconciliation." V shakes his head in disappointment before continuing, he looks pained. 

"And I more than anyone, know of your trouble with emotions. And that's just who you are, but you can't expect to fall back on that as an excuse for what you've done, Jumin. And I know of this at least, that you're aware of this too. This characteristic of yours has let many wave off your actions and comments, but what's going on now is too important and sensitive for you blame on lack of emotion. So I recommend you sit yourself down and think hard, for a while, and dig deep within yourself to understand the severity and magnitude of the situation for once." V inhales slowly, hoping his words leave even a slight impression on his best friend. 

"I'll pop in ever so often to see your state of mind and how you're doing, I'm willing to do that. But you still need to stay away from Zen. You're toxic right now and he's already gotten much of your effects." V finally follows behind a silent Jumin, until Jumin stops in his place. 

"So. He's not only come between his and my relationship..." Jumin mutters and looks down. 

"But now he's putting a kink in ours?..." Jumin smiles painfully. 

"Putting the effects of his choice everywhere, it really is like a -" Jumin was abruptly cut off from his statement by V turning him around. 

"Don't you dare say what I think you're about to say. Just. Don't. How dare you even speak of Zen so lowly! And to others out there like us. Do you really want to know why I seem to defend him more even though I'm your best friend?" V manages to keep his voice even but the tone gives away his anger. 

Jumin only stares blankly back at V, confused as to what reason there could be for his best friends' lack of support towards him. 

"The reason, that I support Zen more than I do you, is because I'm just like him." V spills the words slowly and clearly. Making sure Jumin is sure to take it all in. 

He won't deny his multifaceted motives behind the big reveal. One was because of the spur of the moment displeasure with Jumin, another to spite Jumin, the other to get it off his chest, and finally to hopefully guilt Jumin into regretting his words and actions towards people like him. 

Jumin only widens his eyes and takes one step back, away from V's grip on his shoulders. Walks back to his desk and seat, plopping himself down and grabbing the pen his father gifted him with. Not looking up once, he gestures V out of his office. "Please leave me now. I'm busy." 

V only exhales slowly, nervous and relieved at the same time. "Busy with more than just company work I hope." V reveals. 

"This changes nothing, and I hope you see that. The only difference between Zen and I, is that I have absolutely no interest in you. Never have, and definitely never will. Please seriously think over what I've told you. You have more at stake now than just losing one friend. You could loose an entire part of your life if you play your cards a certain way... anyways, it was good to see that you're doing well. Next time." V smiles briefly and shows himself out the door. 

He didn't exactly follow his plan, but he was content with it nonetheless. 

Jumin didn't have an outburst, and didn't lash out aggressively towards V. That could be really good and really bad, but seeing that Jumin heard him out even after he had just asked him to leave was a good sign. 

Maybe even more than his own relationship with Jumin, V wanted Jumin to be stable for Zen's sake. Even if he himself didn't believe that Jumin should be granted such grace, if it made Zen happy again, then so be it. 

~

"Sevennnnn! I'm being completely serious! This 'unknown' person won't stop sending me weird messages!" Zen props his weight onto one of his legs while the other taps it's foot impatiently. 

Faintly, Zen can hear Seven giggle and shoo someone away. 

"Is it you? If it is I swear to-" Zen was cut off by a sharp noise on the other end. It seemed as if two people were wrestling for the phone. 

Zen's brow twitched in annoyance and he was about to hang up when he heard a higher pitched voice. 

"Yo Zen!!~" the voice chirped happily. 

Zen raised a brow, "...Yoosung? What're you doing at-" yet again cut off. 

"Ya! Go make some coffee or an omelette... fine but just one bag because I'm running low!" Seven burst suddenly. 

"So anyways, are you going to help me out or not? This has been really freaking me out lately, and I swear this is the same person you got rid of a while back. If so, then they're possibly as good a hacker as you. And that's scary..." Zen's worry dribbles into his words and Seven finally becomes concerned. 

"Hmn... really? Can you tell me why you think it's the same person?" Seven asks while holding the phone between his ear and shoulder, finding his hands occupied by his computer keyboard as he runs some diagnostics. 

"Well, for one, it refers to itself and I as angels. Just like from before. It talks in the same odd mannerisms, not like a normal person. And told me to 'accept the angel's invitation' whenever it sends me a link." Zen replies slowly, getting a chill. 

Seven pauses his actions and furrows his brows, "Did you click on the link?... I'd really prefer you hadn't but it could also give me a head start as to what game this person plays." Seven explains in a low tone. 

"Well~...I did, just once though. It was nothing, harmless, just a link to that video you posted of me a while back that kinda helped kickstart my career. Which is weird, so is he asking me to accept my own invitation since it's my video or... what?" Zen cocks his head to the side, genuinely confused. 

"Uh-huh... Is it ok if I take control of your phone for a moment Zen?" Seven asks cautiously. 

There's a pause before Zen's answer, "Knock yourself out. Just get rid of this creep for good." 

And suddenly he's not talking to Seven anymore, even though he knows Seven is still on speaker, he doesn't dare interrupt him while he works. Instead he watches mindlessly as his phone does its own thing seemingly. Zen also pats his long hair down with a small towel gently, as he just got out of the shower before phoning Seven. And currently only sports a regular towel that hangs on his waist loosely. 

His apartment door begins to open and he doesn't even react, knowing who it'll be. But just as he realizes who it'll be that's seeing him only towel clad, he's already too late. 

V's lovely turquoise eyes widen and he's frozen in place. 

Zen just does what he does best, improv. 

"What's wrong V? You look like you've seen a ghost." Zen chuckles and continues drying his hair while staring at his phone intensely, trying to not focus on V focusing on him. 

"No, not that. Just, sorry for barging in, even though you gave me a key I should've known better to knock. Just in case." He fumbles with the glasses in his hands and peers over to see what Zen is looking at. 

"Um... maybe there is a ghost here?" V quirks a brow up curiously as he watches Zen's phone swipe and scroll through browsers and messages without human touch. 

"Nah, just god Seven working his mysterious wonders~" Seven finally pipes up, catching V off guard. 

V walks over, intrigued, but gulps at the sudden proximity of Zen's body that still has drops of water here and there. 

"Seven? What's going on?" He looks to Zen for explanation but he only shrugs, mouthing 'I don't even know.' 

"Well you see, seems our beloved star Zen has a recurring stalker-slash-hacker-slash-fan! And I'm trying to get to the bottom of it once and for all. It's seriously scary and impressive how it bypasses my protective barriers time and time again. No IP address either so that's always fun~" Seven rambles on and ends up freaking both Zen and V out. 

Before V is about to start again, Seven makes a discovery. 

"Aha!" Seven cheers successfully. 

Zen and V look at each other and at the same time ask: "What?!" 

Zen glances at V who is now smiling fondly at him. 

"The link he kept sending you, it's the video of you alright, but it's not the same." Seven has an edge to his voice. It's been a while since he's had a fun chase like this. 

"What do you mean?" Zen leans in closer as if it'll get him an answer sooner. But there's a hand on his shoulder, and it's not until then that he realizes how cold his own body is. 

"You should go dry off fully and change or else you'll catch a cold. Don't worry, I'll have Seven explain to me and I'll brief you later, alright?" V grins that effortless smoldering grin that Zen has been adoring lately and he can't refuse. Especially when V words things in that tone of his, that's still firm but gentle enough for you to know that he doesn't mean to dominate completely. A true leader he is. 

"Yeah, alright, thanks V." Zen notices that V's hand lingers on his shoulder long, to the point that as Zen walks to make his way to his room, V's hand flops straight back to his side without Zen's shoulder. 

Zen only smirks to himself and shuts the door behind him. 

V is staring at the same door in a complete daze, until he hears a suggestive whistle coming from Zen's phone. 

"Wow. Did I miss anything? Any progress?" Seven asks, suddenly interested in V's and Zen's relationship. Since they both had unknowingly confided in Seven about each other. It seemed clear to Seven that it was mutual, but neither took it any further, explicitly that is. 

V blushes lightly but shakes his head at Seven, "No, Fill me in." 

"Well, this literal 'unknown' person has been sending Zen links of his own video. And naturally Zen waved it off as any normal person would. But what Zen failed to realize is that he didn't link the original video post. It's a new upload!" V squints his eyes, he's becoming more and more on edge with this 'unknown' person. 

"How do you know?" V inquires as he grabs Zen's phone and walks over to Zen's bar table, resting his upper body over it. 

"Well for one, there's like no views, totally unlike the original since I bugged it to help Zen out hehe~" Seven explained sheepishly. 

"Zen probably only looked at the screen and saw it was himself so he didn't think twice about it. But what's odd is that, as you watch the video it distorts at the end. With a bunch of weird seemingly nonsensical symbols and words in the background overlay. Even some coordinates and another link..." Seven seems like he's in the zone. 

"I downloaded the video file and I'm analyzing it back over here now, to hopefully find more hidden clues." Seven mumbles almost incoherently and V can briefly hear him shoo away someone or something, and then a faint whine. He doesn't question it though. 

Suddenly the phone is grabbed from V's hand and he looks up, Zen. 

"Well then I guess I can have my phone back then, since you're analyzing stuff back on your end?" Zen smiles as he awaits Seven. 

V notices that Zen is more dressed up than he's seen in a long while. He's very fascinated and very curious now. As to why Zen would decide to don a black deep V neck, with a rich deep red velvet bomber, tight black jeans, and not to mention a blue choker around his porcelain neck. He looked absolutely ravishing and V reckons he half curses Zen and half thanks him as well. For he's definitely easy on the eyes, but he makes it all the more difficult for V to contain himself. 

And it's all fun and games until V thinks that maybe Zen shouldn't decide to look so good when he has some psycho hacker tailing him. In fact, Zen shouldn't be going out much either, unless with his company that is. V's features darken with worry and apprehension. 

"What! No no no no nooooo! I still need to run some tests on your phone!! And reinforce the security on it!" Seven plead with such haste, Zen almost feels bad that he needs his phone back in his own control. 

"Safe word, Seven." Zen breathes out in a teasing tone and suddenly he hears a dramatic cry from the other end. 

Zen sees V's uncomfortable shift, "Well you see, Seven and I here made a deal when I first started getting a bunch of overly creepy obsessive fans. The deal was that Seven could have access to my phone as long as he wants, until I say the safe word we made up for this reason. If I use it, it means that for whatever reason I want or need Seven to stop controlling my phone. The safe word, in theory, is my trust in that once I say it, Seven will have to oblige and give up working on my phone no matter what. And the safe word happens to be safe word." Zen smiles smugly as he looks at his phone screen. 

There's silence first, "Yeah... what he said." Seven says almost in a dead and defeated tone. And then Zen's phone is back to the calling screen and he's back on the phone with Seven. 

"Thanks Seven, I only asked you to do this because I thought I wasn't going anywhere, but I changed my mind. Sorry!" Zen apologizes and hangs up. 

V looks at Zen expectantly. And Zen drops his head a little in defeat and messes with his loose hair. It's been a new habit for Zen. He leaves it loose mostly all the time now, except when he goes on his little jogs. And V silently wonders if it's because of the recent events that he's learned to accept and appreciate his natural flowing hair more. If so, he's glad, at least something good came out of the bad. 

"I want to meet your connections!" Zen mutters out quickly. Eyes darting around V's features to make out a reaction. 

"Connections?... You mean the ones I said could get you to become an idol? It's pretty late Zen and short notice at that..." V is bewildered at Zen's sudden request, but he's also relieved that Zen is seriously considering this as a new means to do what he loves. 

"I know... you're right. It's just, I talked with Jaehee earlier and she sounded so excited with the prospect and honestly, so did I. The more I thought it over, the more I realized how scarily perfectly suited it is for me." Zen's features soften as he walks across to V's side on the bar table. 

"It's scary, not having any work. I start to wonder if there's something wrong with me and my performance. It's particularly scary when I don't even have any modeling offers either." Zen laughs almost bitterly. 

"And it's almost a good thing I guess, with all that's happened. It'd be troublesome if I had to work and sort myself out at the same time. But I'm better now, and I want to get back out there. I'm accepting your help V, because I trust you, and I appreciate how you've always believed in me. So, let's reach higher heights together from now on, yeah?" Zen suddenly bends to embrace V and he's shaking. 

V doesn't know whether it's from fear of what's to come, excitement, or just from all the sensitive talk. But he more than welcomes the hug, getting up from his leaning position to repay Zen's hug in full. Zen grips V tighter and nuzzles his head into V's neck.

"Nothing has ever sounded better, Zen." V affirms and gently pushes Zen back to get a good look at him, wiping away a stray tear off Zen's cheek as he does so. 

Zen sniffles cutely, "Thanks." 

~ 

"Sephinpf, what was that abouf." Yoosung asks with an abundance of Honey Buddha Chips in his mouth. 

Seven is looking at his many monitors that are trying to zero in on one of the coordinates from the video Zen was linked to, while leaning back in his seat as he plays with his lower lip, in deep thought apparently. 

He wraps his arms around Yoosung's waist and pulls him in his lap. Yoosung squeaks cutely and blushes. 

"Chip me." Seven commands and in an instant, Yoosung is offering a chip with his mouth. Seven clamps on the chip happily and cuddles Yoosung closer to him, who closes his eyes and rests his head on Seven's shoulder.

Its then, when Seven decides to let his guard drop. And he's wearing a very concerned expression with widened eyes as a pop up flashes on his monitor that reads: Ah-ah-ahhh. This is only a place for angels, Luciel.

**Author's Note:**

> So... this will be my first fic here on AO3. I'm not certain how long or how many chapters this particular fic will be yet, I'm literally just going with the flow of my mind as I type lol. I've been wanting to write about Mystic Messenger for the longest time and had previously been logging my ideas/works onto my notes on my phone. So I'm super excited to finally be able to post this here! Depending how this story goes, I'll upload my other Mystic Messenger ideas/works on here as well. Anyways, I really hope whoever reads my story will enjoy it as much as I am with writing it! xx


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